βWe gotta go kill their oppressive religious right wing leadersβ
-American and Israeli oppressive religious right wing leaders
@talkingschmidt.bsky.social
Standup. Actor. Voice Actor. Comedy seen on Cracked, in the Washington Post and Chicago Tribune. Voice heard in ads for Grubhub, Natty Light and OneWheel. Former Letterman Page. Award nominated screenwriter. Live Snakes at the Gutter in Williamsburg
βWe gotta go kill their oppressive religious right wing leadersβ
-American and Israeli oppressive religious right wing leaders
If they didnβt want to get hit by snowballs, they shouldnβt have dressed like that
25.02.2026 01:43 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 1 π 0Tampa Bay Buccaneers Logo (Early Draft)
20.02.2026 02:10 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Kid Rock makes music for people who canβt figure out how to use chopsticks
12.02.2026 01:43 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Itβs gotta be weird for country club republicans to pretend to like Kid Rock while already pretending to like Donald Trump
10.02.2026 21:06 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0I keep getting profiled because of my appearance. People assume I watched the Kid Rock halftime show. I havenβt listened to Kid Rock since I was in 8th grade which is the only age itβs appropriate to be a fan of his
10.02.2026 20:37 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Turning Point USA halftime show
06.02.2026 19:55 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Government officials killed a white guy with a legally concealed firearm. I feel like this is the kind of thing white guys with legally concealed firearms would be mad about if they hadnβt become worthless pawns of the state
25.01.2026 17:14 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Inviting friends to a Trump rally
22.01.2026 17:51 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0I know what he can do to try to turn her straight
17.01.2026 19:39 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Oh, youβll know Iβm American. Iβm overweight and unfashionable.
17.01.2026 19:34 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Oh great now Germany is the good guys and weβre the bad guys
15.01.2026 06:03 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0War in Venezuela wasnβt enough. Now heβs ramping up his war on America
14.01.2026 05:21 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0They gotta say theyβre going and bail last minute so Trump doesnβt have time to pack the chairs with morons and jagoffs
09.01.2026 18:35 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Abolish ICE
07.01.2026 20:22 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Looks like young JD Vance time travelled to try to stop him
05.01.2026 16:55 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0America walking into 2026
04.01.2026 07:13 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0I donβt think heβll win the 2026 FIFA Peace Prize
03.01.2026 18:34 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Trump criticizing Bush for Iraq
03.01.2026 16:10 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Trump is getting in on the early 2000s nostalgia by starting an unnecessary war
03.01.2026 15:52 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0With this aggressive military action, Trump is hoping to prove heβs more than just a pedophile
03.01.2026 15:30 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Hope it knocked him back to being progressive
13.11.2025 19:06 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Worst thing about ANTIFA meetings is all the vegan pizza
16.10.2025 18:46 β π 4 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Heβs way too old to still be a Senator. He should be at home in an urn
16.10.2025 17:15 β π 3 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0In Mean Streets, Robert De Niro looks like heβs about to sing Smooth with Carlos Santana
15.10.2025 03:45 β π 3 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Hereβs a proposed Turning Point USA βall-Americanβ halftime show act
11.10.2025 15:32 β π 3 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0As a trend-noticer, Iβve noticed the worst things tend to happen under Republican presidents
11.10.2025 15:17 β π 3 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0I started playing pickleball cuz Iβm worried about my weight
09.10.2025 20:36 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Day jobs suck
08.10.2025 14:43 β π 1 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0Both parties want to go back to the 50s. Liberals want to go back to taxing the rich to provide a better social safety net and republicans just want the racism
08.10.2025 13:43 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0