Fish In Black (He/Him)

FOCUS @nb-nature-nerd.bsky.social I'm very disappointed in you

"Do you feel the same way?"
"The last time I was here your Nana suggested sacrificing me to appease an eldritch terror."
"Is that a no?"

"While in prison, I started my own ministry," she said normally, like a normal person. #riverdale

After attending an extended training session about not running into a burning building, he immediately ran into a burning building. #archieisacleverboy

"I've seen porcelain dolls possessed by my deceased brother that move faster than you!"

They're wondering if truckers are part of the disappearances and I don't want to assume too much but my money's on the truck with the literal skeleton on the front of it.

Just remembered this is the season where aliens turn up #riverdale

Time for Archie's fourth run as vigilante

And then we go immediately into time jump football war coma, so you know, swings and roundabouts.

Credit where it's due, the graduation episode is genuinely well done.

Just gonna save this sand leave it here. No reason.

Riverdale has a lot of (highly entertaining) nonsense, but its single biggest flaw is that they somehow managed to come up with a _really_ engaging, clever, and creepy hook at the end of last season, and they defused it at the start of season 5 in the most anticlimactic way possible.

Ok Archie, I understand you wanting to smash the video tape you didn't want anyone else to see, but... Why did you also then smash the tv? #riverdale #archieisacleverboy

"Man, am I the only one who hasn't got rid of a body before?"

The gang are talking about how to get back at their principal and the options range from super glue on their chair to straight up murder.

Three of Jughead's teachers have thrown themselves out of windows in the last 4 seasons.

Two of them were out the same window.

"Why is Brett afraid of me?"
"Apparently you cracked his head open with a golf club?"
"I did do that, yes."

She said normally, like a normal person.

Took them like four raids to realise that maybe they should not try to sell the rum in the place where they're not allowed to sell the rum

Kevin's Grinder date is trying to recruit him to soft core tickle porn

"Sweaty people means thirsty people."

"it's best to draw from your experience when writing."
*Proceeds to tell an extremely detailed murder yarn*

"I need some serial killer advice." #riverdale

Veronica just set a man on fire.

They were a serial killer, but still

"Ugh. Look I know I made you rebury your dead brother's corpse, but -"

"You're not going to let this go are you."

The "this" in question is refusing to rebury the embalmed corpse of their dead brother.

"Where did you get this money?"
"Off some low level drug dealers"
- Archie, because he's clever boy

Possibly the greatest lines ever written

Oh boy, time for Archie's third stint as a vigilante

The FBI agent is explaining to Betty how to defuse a bomb instead of you know doing it himself