Homie O’Stasis

If I were a Catholic priest, I would perform transubstantiation at inappropriate times like, oh- are you enjoying that charcuterie board? Bam! Now you’re a cannibal eating salmon on Jesus.

Marco Rubio, Secretary of Everything The former senator from Florida is now the head of four government bodies. He has outdone Henry Kissinger and even Xi Jinping, China’s leader, who has only three titles.

If you’re going to sell out all of your principles, abdicate your place in history, and betray your community to end up being a scapegoat for failed foreign policy, you might as well go all in. www.nytimes.com/2025/05/01/u...

Weekly reminder that regime change starts at home.

We’ll have plenty of wood once we annex Canada. You know… like Germany did with Poland under Hitler.

To make Fox News more fair and balanced, have Josh Johnson host a nightly show called, “Calm Down, Honky.”

We’re all webcam girls in a surveillance state.

It's. A. Cult.

Cult logic: the economy was good towards the end of Biden’s term because people were optimistic about Trump coming into power. The economy is bad now because of Biden’s policies.

There’s nothing funnier than a bunch of fat, white, rhythmless homophobes awkwardly “dancing” to YMCA while waiting for their mentally ill cult leader to tell them what to think.

I don’t want to spread rumors on the internet, but I heard that JD Vance killed Pope Francis.

Which person in this picture are you referring to?

😂🤣😂

#SheShed

I have to admit, I thought Pam Bondi was going to suck as AG. But now that she’s had a chance to prove herself, I have to admit that I completely underestimated the degree to which she is an amoral monster.

In fairness, they may be too dumb to serve.

Be on the lookout for a Reichstag Fire situation.

This should be an Onion headline, but alas- satire is dead.

Just because the First Amendment protects our right to call JD Vance a couch fucking Cabbage Patch Kid bitch doesn’t mean that we should call JD Vance a couch fucking Cabbage Patch Kid bitch.

Using words like “whilst” to try to convince myself that we’re not living in The Dumbest Times.

Jesus looking down on Earth muttering, “What a bunch of fucking douchbags…”

The news cycle is so fast it’s easy to lose track of the really important stories. Did Donald Trump ever confirm that the gold was still at Fort Knox?

… behest of a mentally ill Nationalist Christian (Nat-C) Barbie…

I tell myself I’m a pacifist but every time I see a picture of this guy, I want to roundhouse kick him in the face.

I’m having trouble coping with how dumb everything is right now.

Which white trash mariachi band is this?

Records are meant to be broken. Congrats @booker.senate.gov for stepping up and standing up for the American people.

Blazing your own path for the W

👏👏👏👏👏

Corey Booker just Indiana Jonesed Strom Thurmond.

Prediction: Trump’s “Liberation Day” Will age as well as Bush’s “Mission Accomplished.”

YouTube video by Disturban History When Nazis Took Methamphetamine

If you dislike Nazis, you’re going to hate Nazis on meth.

youtu.be/H14HLxnVzjo?...

There was a good turnout at the Breckenridge town hall today. Representative Joe Neguse, House Speaker Julie McCluskie, and state Senator Dylan Roberts did a good job representing me and the rest of our constituents. Unlike their Republican colleagues, they were not afraid to answer tough questions.

I got a sales email from Tesla. This was my response: