Jordan ✌️

excited to wake up to a thrilling new round of taylor swift discourse tomorrow morning 🤪

How it feels telling people you're a morning person

Hey so what are you supposed to do when you were really excited to finally have some time off but then your city starts experiencing a hostile militarized takeover, just a hypothetical question

Can I get a hell yeah

The most important thing that happened in July is that I remembered that I could just make myself a tuna melt if I wanted to

Just made my fiance pause a show 2/3rds of the way through because I was overcome by the urgent need to lay down in the dark and listen to Lorde.

I'm gonna be so honest I did not know it was possible to cancel e! news, I thought it just existed like the wind or the grass or the inevitably of death

Would truly do anything to get to ask the love island music supervisor questions for like 20 minutes

This bill is a disgrace and I'm sick at the thought of all of the harm this will cause in the short term and for decades to come.

Roughly once a week there is a cover of a song on Love Island that is so bad that I start to question if humans as a species deserve music

hey panera can we have the lemonade that kills us again

Join us on June 27th, from 12-1 PM, for the latest installment in our Federal Threats Watch webinar series: DC's Budget Offers No Shelter from Storm.

This virtual discussion will feature speakers from DCFPI, @dcjwj.bsky.social & @dcpca.bsky.social

Learn more & register today: loom.ly/FC3O3J0

Love to disassociate in the thrift store while they blast the theme to Ghostbusters and I am mentally confronting the idea of imminent nuclear war 💕

Spending my summer being an unwilling participant in the Washington Nationals collective public humiliation kink

Spending my summer profusely apologizing to my fiance for the person I become when watching a baseball game

Happy pride from the demon who haunts my texts, @mcnietzsche.bsky.social

The fruits of my labor

(The berries I grew in my backyard)

It's genuinely crazy that I met a man on the internet and now he lives in my house and my cat likes him more than me and we're getting married and his mom texts me all the time???

Sitting in the back of my brother's wedding googling "how to dance with height difference"

Sometimes it's not that weird to live in DC and then sometimes you're trying to decide if it's worth it to yell at the United States Senator ahead of you in the TSA line, because he's made some awful policy decisions lately

DC is a city of grown adults in backpacks

(I am a grown adult in a backpack)

This is a great resource to understand the (often confusing!) DC budget process!

Trying to convince my fiance that we should walk down the aisle to the Survivor theme song at our wedding (it is not working)

Every season of The Amazing Race has at least one woman who I hope watches it backs and then divorces her husband

Nearly 1/2 of all renters and more than 1/2 of Black renters in DC struggle to afford rent. DC lawmakers should focus on improving rental assistance, to ensure renters with low incomes have stable and affordable places to call home.

Read more: www.dcfpi.org/all/nearly-h...

Even with everything going on in the world right now I still have it in me to be a huge hater for stupid chat gpt slop. I am dedicated to my hating game 🫡 I don't want to see your weird AI dolls, get a hobby

I think Gayle going to space is Oprah's karmic punishment for unleashing Dr. Oz on the world

i need the news to stop breaking for like 24 hours, please, I can not keep up at this pace

i should be in charge of the marvel movies. i will cast mark rylance, jared harris, mark strong, paul dano, and paul giamatti as the avengers. their headquarters are the municipal planning office of a midsize american city. the supervillain they defeat will be various challenges to zoning reform