Righteous Christian Trading Cards

Thomas Gotthard, with a new and perverted take on "I Melt With You."

Divorce is a sin, absolutely abhorrent to the Righteous. This preacher made sure that this abomination would never occur in his own marriage.

The center is not going to hold. People need to understand this and start preparing for life after the US.

JT Ready, doing the LAWD's work, one bullet at a time.

Do you remember this prominent Lamb of Christ? Forgotten way too soon, his views are still very much a part of the modern landscape.

John Canning, a full-service preacher.

This Righteous preacher knows what the BIBEL says about rich people and Heaven, so he emptied out the bank account and then sent his elderly flock off to their guaranteed Paradise.

He lives still, now about the age of those he dispatched.

John Gacy, devoted Catholic and amateur mortician.

He remained faithful his whole life, attending services right up until he got strapped and poked.

Pinochet's favorite priest, Christian Von Wernich. He saw to it that people only confessed once.

Remarkably, this Righteous icon from South America is STILL alive, long after those he served went off to their eternal rewards (not to mention the ones he helped dispatch personally.)

Eddie Espinosa, a true crusader in the massage parlors of Texas.

This preacher knew well how bad the evils he preached against were. He paid to find out.

Robert Hansen, Righteous Lutheran serial killer.

He never missed a church service. Not even if it was unbearably frigid.
Not even if he had a woman tied up prior to one of his hunting trips.

That'll be the end. They are depending on a demographic that has been relentlessly persecuted for 40 years. Milley wasn't a one-off, and I do not see soldiers of color (or women) obeying orders to shoot up their own neighbors.

The US will not exist as-is in 4 years. Not as one nation.

And this one is over. I'm quite confident in saying that the US is not going to survive Trump as one nation. Governors will be forced to protect their populations.

JD and Brenda. Their love was hot, like the bullets they pumped into Brenda's husband...

They may not be able to go to church together like in their golden days, but this Righteous couple are no doubt spreading the good word to all those sinners in the condemned block...

Donald Graham, a Straight Shooter for the LAWD.

It's quite likely that this man of God would have trouble carrying and aiming his Righteous crossbow at his age. Nonetheless, he's still preaching to the sinners in his block. This, you can be sure of.

It was, I believe, turn the other cheek", not "reach for the quiver." But, I digress...

Rev. Clarence Richeson, who loved many, but snuffed only one.

This Righteous preacher took marriage so seriously, he wouldn't entertain even breaking an engagement.

He beats the devil out of his family. No, really! Good old preacher Josh Lough of OH.

Really now, what is a Righteous preacher to do when Satan gets all up in his loved ones' heads?

Let us not forget that Saint Senile of Reaganscat learned his craft from Nixon, who sought to make sure that there was no cease-fire in Vietnam before the election.

Selfishness sells, to an appalling degree.

A camel can't get through the eye of a needle, but a Righteous preacher like Timothy Booth can surely ride a Learjet to Cancun.

This Righteous preacher had a version of the "Prosperity Gospel" that kept him in front-row seats and private jets for years. The LAWD surely blessed him.

Earnie couldn't abide divorce, although adultery and cold-blooded murder don't seem to have bothered him.

Welcome one and all to the Holy Year 2025! What better way to ring in the new year than telling the story of a Righteous preacher who kept his wedding vows sacred!

This is the curse of the ideologue, be he left or right. No "ism" works without fine-tuning.

Larry's wife would soon enough know why the rats died in agony.

For this Righteous preacher, divorce was a sin to be avoided at all costs.
He happened to have a plan for that, of course. Let's re-celebrate the life and exploits of this famous Righteous Christian.

Short-term. Once the leech states fully separate, those in the productive areas will see an improvement in their circumstances.

When the US implodes (and I don't see any realistic way for it to go on as one nation as we've known it), they'll blame immorality, lazy youth, "those" people, etc.

The core stupidity of this bunch can't be ignored. He's always hidden behind the law to shield him from his mistakes. This time, his mistakes are going to be so big that a lot of states are going to have to shield their residents from him. And he will be able to do nothing to change it.

They'll blame everyone else, as the "personal responsibility" set inevitably does.

Bradrick Vail, a true "father" to the youths in his flock.

Allow me to apologize for our long silence. Though we've been away, rest assured that we've continued to chronicle the most Righteous of the most Righteous religion.

Billy Sunday, a Righteous man who disliked all the correct types.

Let's take a little time to remember a Righteous Christian who would feel right at home in the land of Project 2025.

Zachary King, Apostolic minister and budding young videographer.

At the very least, no other kids will suffer in this Righteous Christian preacher's bastion.

Dr. Fail does it again. Musk fails, big.

😂😂😂

Sean Goff, a really Old Testament kind of preacher.

As a scholarly Righteous Christian, this preacher was able to find all the BIBEL verses he needed to justify all of his behaviors.
Let's take a moment to remember this short-lived new version of Righteous Christianity.

He's an atheist. And a Mormon. And a Catholic. And next week, he'll be a Pentecostal when he hits Birmingham. Could old JD.

Here, today, is the poster boy (?) for electoral law reform. No way could this poser get himself elected to anything, anywhere, if the game wasn't rigged.

Roger slapped some of that old-time religion up in that plane.

OBEY the husband, as he is King of the house like Jesus is King of Heaven!
This Righteous preacher wasn't about to let Satan pollute his wife and defile his family.