Adam Sokol

I like we had to invent a psychological phenomenon to explain misremembering a book read by children instead of just shrugging our shoulders and going “yeah, kids are dumb and bad at reading.”

Next time!

Worth a shot

Whenever I apply for a job I like to put the company I’m applying for on my resume followed by 2025-???? so they can get a little taste of my clever irreverence before they print up my resume just so they can throw away a physical copy.

This is such an insane parking job I thought dude got raptured

You’re not allowed to complain about AI slop if you keep seeing Jurassic Park movies

This time of year I usually throw my support to whatever team as the most former Tigers on their roster. This year I’m rooting for the team with the most current Tigers which happens to be The Tigers.

Sage advice from famous fucker upper

Hoping all this Riyadh Comedy Fest hate doesn’t spill over and ruin my weekend at the all new Talibanana Peelz Comedy Club.

If I ran a vegan meat company I’d go for broke and offer stuff like jackalope sausage and unicorn burgers. It’s all a lie anyhow, have some fun with it!

Home of the waitstaff that say “trust me” with a wink while giving you a few extra napkins.

In a mob movie, the slightly less sociopathic and racist one is your protagonist

I guess I never thought the Epstein files was mich of a big deal. But the fact that Trump would rather have Sasquatch ride around the south lawn on a unicycle as opposed to release them makes me think there might be something to this whole thing.

I’m sorry but Bayer‘s new ad crosses the the line!
#tylenol

Worked so well with the Kimmel thing I’ve decided to ditch my Israel+ subscription

We need a Charlie Kirk of the left. Then we need to shoot him. Like that old Cold War movie Fail Safe.

First they came for the Jimmy, then they came for the Jimmy

Surpised how high Jimmy Kimmel was in the “first they came for the” hierarchy

Shoutout to the social media engagement bots. Gotta be hard to post shit like “so why do people back into parking spaces?!?!” while a civil war unfolds around you but they soldiered on.

Been out riding bikes for the last two weeks and going through all the news pods I missed while we were gone. Starting off slow but feels like they’re building to something. NO SPOILERS PLEASE!

You should be allowed to stay on vacation until you stop having work dreams.

As information starts rolling in, it’s important we all jump to conclusions and ignore everything that doesn’t jive with our biases.

Really doesn’t make you think #charliekirk

Scientists might want to take another crack at this one if this is what they came up with

“Going about daily life but tense.” Turns out my body’s been bracing for a federal takeover for over thirty years.

Inside you there are two wolves

I always wondered why he listed his comedy as all ages but not family friendly.

Not saying I’m 100% moving here or anything but I’ve been in Buffalo for 2 days and I can’t remember the last time I’ve heard this much Adele.

Don’t know why this tourist trap Niagra Falls hat has to be all “death before dishonor”

Wanted to tell the trashy lady complaining about her boyfriend she deserves better but after listening to her for two hours I now know she doesn’t.