Rage against the price of watermelon
I’m always here for you unless someone better looking needs me
Nothing refreshes like a complete nervous breakdown™
You’re a “haha” girl and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.
I’m basically your dream girl except older and fatter
Maybe you ain’t healing cuz you ain’t broken #nowwhat
I would use my phone as a phone for you.
i dont want to understand the horrors i just want them to stop
Going back in time to kill baby vegetables.
Holidays are the same as other days but with more rain.
In another dimension, I've been shitposting Favstar material this whole time.
Why would anyone want to tea bag? That’s fucking nuts
this post has been deleted
Capitalism’s only enemy is an emotionally regulated populace
Mission: Impossible? well yeah with that attitude
I shaved up to my knees for this?
It’ll happen, your honor
Relationship status: took the bins out
What could you possibly have to yammer on about at six o' fucking clock in the fucking morning
We all make grammatical mistakes. The important thing is that you learn from it and delete your account
Sorry i'm late i hey look over there
I can’t be fixed or broken 🟢
They’re not typos they’re subliminal suggestions.
I am a post-midlife crisis
Not to sound alarmist, but clang clang clang clang clang
3. If a problem has more than one variable, the real variable is you.
