Cop: "I.D."
Pear: "LOL WUT"
Women should NOT have to do one single extra thing than a man does. #FTFY
Remember when connecting with people online was fun?
Me neither.
Time wounds all heels.
They're playing Sade at the #PunkRockFleaMarket 😆
Yes, the same one from the 90s smooth jazz radio station in my mom's car.
I got WHAM'ed and Bluesky is forcing me to enter a birthday. Today needs to be less invasive.
There are 10 (TEN 😡) people here. But at least I have someone to talk to.
People on dating apps: "I let a corporation manage my social interactions for me and it's going BAD! 😭😭😭"
If not big fun, then why big fun shape?
This buffet sucks
This is the real party, Chris.
Maybe it's an artistic choice, but I think the antlers should be white. Otherwise it just looks like a messy poo.
I'm on the ferry practicing my Big Presentation, the guy behind me is sleeping, and the guy next to me is playing the French horn. I don't know what the guy in front of me is doing because his window tint is enviably dark, but I hope he's having enough sex for the rest of us.
I called my uncle this morning and as we ended the call, he signed off with "Go Cubs" and I said, "you sure?"
The butterfly crab looks like a tapdancing hat.
"Imagine this--" the AI bot regularly commands, even though the bot itself can't do that.
"Get fucked," I reply, knowing it can't do that either.
Remember how the Republicans used to demonize homosexuality before Peter Thiel bought JD Vance and made him vice president? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
Parents when literally anything happens: "Waaaah! Think of the CHILDREN!"
Parents literally anywhere with their children: "Bring the iPad, I don't want to think of my children.
"I don't have an opinion about that" has gotten me out of so many pointless conversations with absolute morons. It doesn't even have to be true.
I personally did not want Charles in Charge of Me.
Even if *he* didn't post that, it is absolutely disgusting that someone had this enter their brain and think it was a good thing to share.
The SEA LEMON has GILLS on its BUTT. What do you have on YOUR butt? Not much, I bet!
Notice how Republicans forget all about "states' rights" when it's not about defending racism
Oh goody. We can haunt our friends forever, sponsored by Coca-Cola.
Thank you this helps a lot
Probably just nervous laughter because it's still moving
I did not produce crotch fruit with gnat-like attention spans... Are K-pop demon hunters right for me?
I get bad parking, but this is way over the line.
