Kumail Nanjiani

The best possible party vibe is the cozy zombie enclave party vibe.

I’ve just learned that July is "Lasagna Awareness Month." That’s something I'd like to unlearn

The Naked Gun is so funny and joyful. Liam Neeson and Pamela Anderson are both hilarious in it. The Naked Gun movies loomed large for me as a kid, and it's thrilling to watch a new one that deserves the name. I know! Who'da thunk! Go see it in theaters! Laugh with a bunch of strangers!

EVERYTHING is a negotiation. From S2E3 of Silicon Valley

Daddy problems ❌ Problems with "daddy" ✅

11 years ago, "The Meltdown" first aired on TV. Jonah is still giving me shit about this shirt

Gonna miss talking to Stephen about not at all nerdy things.

Back in the day I had stiff competition

WGA statement on Paramount’s decision to cancel the Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

And this is why I had to cancel my live stand up shows till October. Very very sorry for that.

I think all interviews should take place in a room full of kittens

Classic typozinger. Now fixed.

If you are in NYC in August or September, come see me play Mary Todd Lincoln’s husband on Broadway.

Realll toss up. Anyone’s guess

Some of us aren't fluent in pillow talk. From S4E5 of Silicon Valley

When I was on Silicon Valley, we didn’t think robot nazis would be here until at least 2030.

It's more than a pill. It's a breach of trust.

YOU ARE SO FUNNY IN IT!

I loved Superman. The cast is phenomenal. It's moving, funny, thrilling, and about trying to be good in a world that is bad. A superhero movie for this moment. I'll be watching it again and again.

Believe me when I say Pakistan has a parasocial relationship with Picket Fences

Graph showing huge youth vote for Mandani

Simpsons no it’s the children who are wrong meme

New York establishment Democrats literally doing the full Skinner.

last night the republicans passed a budget to turn america into a nation of roving masked thugs and concentration camps and this is what democrats are doing still on sunday morning news programs instead of telling their interviewers to shut the fuck up and stop changing the subject

A piece of shit is a piece of shit, equationally (From Silicon Valley, S2E8)

You WILL put respect on Hugh Grant’s name

Dear Dems: this is what we want. This is who we want. Listen to us.

We’ve got until 9pm.

Make that call, send that text, canvass that poll site—these are the moments that decide this race.

Two insults do not make a compliment. From "The Big Sick" (2017)

The liberal establishment is putting more effort into stopping a progressive from becoming mayor of New York than they are to stopping all of Trump’s illegal actions combined at the moment.

A Dem lawmaker and her husband were killed by a guy for their political views and it’s already out of the news.

The. Greatest.