Eliza Skinner - comedian

Not Penny’s Boat

Yesssssssss

Do I have thoughts on any of the other DWTS contestants this season?
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Hey, come on. You know me! I’m too classy for that.
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Come to a show and ask me in person.

Man, I am so here for all the DWTS love for Andy Richter. It’s no coincidence that when I got my own show (Earth To Ned) Andy was literally the first guest we had. He’s just a good, kind (and very funny) dude.

It’s really rough!
(Sorry, pun not intended.)

Just another case of unchecked capitalism being incredibly destructive. The free market doesn’t care about your dog, or your cat, or your family, or you.

And by the way - it’s not veterinarians profiting off of this. Vets are suffering too - the rate of suicide in their industry is remarkably high now. Like many other industries, private equity has bought up vet clinics and focused solely on jacking profit up as much as possible.

There should be no tax on or profit from medical care - and that includes veterinary medicine.
People are giving up their animals because they can’t afford care for them - not because they never could, but because the cost has gone up so much so quickly. Shelters all over the country are packed.

The news media needs to start using experts on authoritarianism and pre-WWII history as pundits on stories about the current administration. This is not a joke - just a boring good idea. The rapid shift to fascism needs to be put in context by people who know, not podcasters and politicians.

Nothing. I just keep watching another show instead.

Desperately trying to watch The Expanse based on some friends’ recommendations - cannot stop rewatching Elementary instead. Hoping it’s an astrological thing.

Sometimes Im tempted to think “I’m not like other middle-aged white women, I’m cool.” Then I find myself drinking white wine & watching The Morning Show — I don’t know how I got here — I don’t remember starting the show. I’m scared…. What’s happening??

I gotta light a scented candle and think.

I feel like the government is shut down the same way shelter dogs shut down.

BUT ALSO let us not forget that - as a man I have never met once said - “we didn’t start the fire. It was always burning since the world’s been turning. We didn’t start the fire. No we didn’t light it but we tried to fight it. Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again.”

I know things seem super fucked up right now - and they are.
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I’m sorry, u rite.

I find it really hard to believe that there is a actual organic human fan base for Jared Leto out the world. But then again I’ve never had a Pizookie at BJ’s, so what do I know about the world?

Hey, look, I’m not Washington insider. But it sure sounds like Pete Hegseth just wasted a lot of time and money yelling at a whole bunch of high ranking military personnel because he can’t grow a beard.

Hey LA Comic Con! Come see me and @elizaskinner.bsky.social! Artist Alley J07! And come to my comics panel at 1pm!

There is a festival running concurrently with the “Riyadh Comedy Festival” - called the “You Were Absolutely Right About These Comics, Eliza - They Are All Exactly Who You Thought They Were Festival”

James Van Der Beek Makes Surprise Appearance at Dawson’s Creek Reunion After Canceling Due to Illness James Van Der Beek made a surprise virtual appearance at a Dawson's Creek reunion charity event after previously dropping out due to illness. While Van Der Beek was unable to attend the charity event ...

people.com/james-van-de...

He was so excited - congratulating him, asking him how he was feeling, if he had any questions. He sat down with the guy & talked fatherhood for a good while - til we had to break it up for rehearsal.
He just seemed way more interested in being a person than being a star.

I hope he gets well soon.

Years ago, James Van Der Beek was a guest on a show I was working on. He was lovely, collaborative, & kind to everyone. At one point in the day he overheard a crew member mention that he just found out his wife was going to have a baby. Van Der Beek stopped in his tracks & beelined to the guy(cont.)

Hot chocolate in a mug with dog and shop vac

You’re right this chunky handle is a satisfying hold! The fun skull textures, the chunky handle, it has everything one could ask for from a mug!

I’m so glad you like it!

SLOW HORSES IS BACK!!
Thank you for this bread and circus, Apple+.

I relistened to it today and you made me laugh a lot!

Pet Helpers by Eliza Skinner - Earwolf Presenting “Pet Helpers” by Eliza Skinner. When a plan to scam people into buying pet insurance for the Rapture goes awry, it’s up to Mimi (Eliza Skinner) and her roommate Jane (Jessica McKenna) to fi...

Apparently you only have until Tuesday to listen to “Pet Helpers” - my pilot about the Rapture - as read by @pftompkins.bsky.social @paulscheer.com @girlwithatail.bsky.social @jaredlogan.bsky.social Jess McKenna, Bryan Cook, and me!

www.earwolf.com/episode/pet-...

Oh boy, I hope so! I’m timely again!
Listen to my Rapture-based pilot, Pet Helpers, before we get sucked into Heaven/left behind! You’ve got two days! www.earwolf.com/episode/pet-...

Swiss cheese is the 1970s Playboy of cheeses.