I apologize for having no idea how to sit on furniture properly. I'm like a really poorly trained house cat or something.
Do an impression of my chair in the comments 😯
This outfit makes me feel like a bad guy in a 90s horror movie about something spooky going on at a haunted college.
I'm not lying when I say that this dress is one of the most comfortable pieces of clothing I own. It feels like a really fancy snuggy or whatever they're called.
One of the problems with all of these vines on my wall is that I keep thinking about Super Mario 2 where he climbs the vines, and you have to jump to get away from the giant ladybugs.
You're working at a hole-in-the-wall barbeque shack, and I come in to order a corn dog. Are you going to ask me if I want fries with that?
Are these shoes too tall?
If you've never seen the version of the "Workout" video from Kanye West that has Anna Nicole Smith being absolutely hilarious, then I don't know what to tell you.
I don't always go outside, but when I do, I think about how cool it would be to be Selene from the Underworld movies. I can't drive a motorcycle though. Womp womp.
Just imagine I'm like this and asking you for the password before I let you into some kind of super cool secret underground club in a 90s action movie.
The hard part isn't keeping up with which of these pictures I've taken, it's keeping up with all of my clothes and doing laundry.
I NEVER LEARN NO MATTER WHAT
These stairs had some cool stuff sprayed on them that kept them from being slick, which is great considering how I am with these shoes and stairs anyway.
Did you ever see Britney Spears in the Toxic video where she jumps off of the motorcycle, and it's the worst CGI ever? That's what this outfit reminds me of.
I would be a really good model for Ikea. I would just sit on all of the furniture and not buy anything, which is what I do in Ikea anyway.
These are my workout clothes, which usually means doing yoga in my living room and falling over a lot.
I'm starting to think that goth girls who wear something other than black are the worst ones.
This is how I look at people who get entirely too close to me when I'm in the check-out line at Walmart.
One day I'm going to actually eat all of what I order at a restaurant instead of having to get a bunch of it to go and then forgetting that it's in the fridge until it goes bad.
I probably would have been a really good jockey except I don't like horses, and I'm entirely too tall (5'8" with no shoes).
It kind of looks like I'm holding onto my hair so that it won't get up and walk off. Whoops.
Is there actually a good time to do this, or am I just going to look bad no matter what I do?
I look like I'm about to go be a substitute teacher in Hogwarts or something.
If it was Thanksgiving, I'd be a little gothic pilgrim.
I can't tell if the pattern on this dress is an octopus or a snake. What do you think?
This morning, the first step to cooking bacon is to drop half of the pack in the floor, apparently.
I literally just recorded this before I went to the grocery store
I like how dark and moody this picture is. It makes me feel like I'm in an Edgar Allan Poe musical.
I always think I look like sort of a goth Power Ranger in this outfit.
I'm 6'4" when I wear these shoes, lol, lmao even.
