M

Can I ask you a question?

I say: I need some closure.
Taylor says:
'Cause I don't remember who I was before you
Painted all my nights
A color I've searched for since
But one thing after another
Lost in situations, circumstances
Miscommunications and I
Have to say
By the way
I just may like some explanations

Having high functioning anxiety and depression doesn’t make your mental health “less bad” than someone who can’t get out of bed. It’s not a contest.

I say: We grew apart.
Taylor says:
He was sunshine, I was midnight rain
He wanted it comfortable
I wanted that pain
He wanted a bride
I was making my own name
Chasing that fame
He stayed the same
All of me changed like midnight

I got bangs recently and then found out MAGA bros don’t like bangs. So I’ll be keeping them for the foreseeable future.

So maybe it’s her fault he acts the way he does? Because he can’t fully trust her? But she is in therapy and trying to work on better communication skills. He’s in therapy too. Even his therapist agrees that his last outburst wouldn’t have been as bad if she had been communicating more openly.

That’s not the real him. She yells sometimes too. She’s been passive aggressive, manipulative, and done the silent treatment. She’s walked out on conversations. She’s threatened to leave.

Yes he’s punched holes in walls, thrown furniture, and hit the dogs, but he’s never laid a hand on her or hurt anyone that badly.
He doesn’t remember everything that happens after the rage. He doesn’t remember all the hurtful things he said - it’s like someone else takes over.

She’s worried she’s the abusive one.
He’s stuck by her through so much - mental health crises, job changes, moving across the country - he’s so supportive and loving 95% of the time.

You're on your own, kid
Yeah, you can face this
You're on your own, kid
You always have been

I say: I have to be strong for myself.
Taylor says:
And I saw something they can't take away
'Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned
Everything you lose is a step you take
So make the friendship bracelets, take the moment and taste it
You've got no reason to be afraid

blaming herself for things, and telling me ways in which she also has problematic behavior. She’s definitely questioning her reality/ feels crazy and feels guilty all the time.

Here is some of what she’s told me: sounds like there’s love-bombing, gaslighting, blame shifting, intimidation (no direct physical violence but threats of it), minimizing behaviors, making her feel guilty for not spending time together…she also is defending some of their actions,

If my friend is asking me about and looking up signs of being in an abusive relationship, does that mean she’s probably in an abusive relationship? She keeps saying it only checks some of the boxes and that it’s not *that* bad. Thoughts?

What’s something petty you’re holding onto, and how can I support you in never letting it go?

2024 was a year of amazing music. TTPD was my personal AOTY but all of those artists were deserving and then some. They all get crowns 👑

“Warn” lol

👇👇

I will go full Karen on anyone who fucks with one of us. I’m just ready to go full Karen on MAGA and nazis in general tbh 🤷‍♀️

NO 👏 LGB 👏 WITHOUT 👏 T 👏

Just a reminder that TRANS 👏 PEOPLE 👏LED 👏 THE 👏 CHARGE 👏 FOR 👏 LGBTQ+ 👏 RIGHTS 👏

I accept.

The patriarchy. Who are we fighting right now? The patriarchy.
Instead I’m trying to focus on building strength because how can I fight if I’m weak and malnourished?

CW: ED
In case you didn’t know, I struggle with an eating disorder, and I’ve had a worsening relapse over the past year. It goes a lot deeper than just wanting to be thin (though negative body image is a definite struggle for me). But I’m trying to reframe my thinking - who says I need to be thin?

I say: This love feels whimsical.
Taylor says:
And it's like snow at the beach
Weird but fuckin' beautiful
Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful
You wanting me tonight feels impossible
But it's comin' down, no sound, it's all around
Like snow on the beach

Why yes I have overcommitted myself to stay alive because I wouldn’t want to inconvenience anyone who is relying on me. Who’s asking?

I say: I have issues.
Taylor says:
I should not be left to my own devices
They come with prices and vices
I end up in crisis (tale as old as time)
I wake up screaming from dreaming
One day I'll watch as you're leaving
'Cause you got tired of my scheming
(For the last time)

I say: What happened to us?
Taylor says:
When the silence came, we were shaking blind and hazy
How the hell did we lose sight of us again?
Sobbin' with your head in your hands
Ain't that the way shit always ends?

I say: Quit trying to put women into a box.
Taylor says:
All they keep askin' me
Is if I'm gonna be your bride
The only kind of girl they see
Is a one-night or a wife

A Kelly Clarkson song came on the radio the other day, and it reminded me of how much I listened to my Breakaway CD in high school. I gave it a full listen today, and turns out I still remember basically every word. That album was so good for my angsty teenage self.