JSlow

A rake named Emily.

I’d be ground floor, refusing helicopter rides mf’er

They hired a clean shaven Jon Waters?

When I was told it would be on my permanent record I scoffed never imagining today.

Colonel Ed coined it but I’m living it minus the 10% I don’t have #5

Oh hell yeah!

Minnesota’s economy runs on the strength of our small businesses.

I’m proposing $10 million in direct relief to help businesses impacted by Operation Metro Surge stabilize, protect jobs, and get back on solid footing.

Level of predatory ads on you tube is next.

co dependent indepented
independent co bented
on three

Whole country’s health policy based off one privileged man’s experience.

Me: $25? That’s 5x5!

Liquor store clerk: you gotta thing for 5

Me: when it becomes America’s fastest growing religion you can say, “I know that guy.”

“and then this motherfucker puts a FEATHER in his CAP, and you are not gonna believe what he called that shit. guess. just fuckin guess.”

If I'm so dumb how does my body know when it's a full moon

Epstein files are the source of his power and the kryptonite.

So many of my neighbors have frozen pipes and I’m living in fear.

Windswept on sand for a look that says I will always be there because I have been here always, or perfectly raked perimeter around a campsite for a look that says I'll be with you until the hose runs out

service

putting a rotisserie chicken on each hand and boxing people at costco

I would like to thank @blobstar.bsky.social for sticking the Hokey Pokey in my head as default and announce I’ve escaped time.

I believe in numbers but only have an approximate grasp on them.

Yes, healthcare for myself hurts the most.

I love the throwing yourself down a mountain sports but hate winter enough to have zero experience with these things.

I am of Generation X, which I guess must be a prime consumer age because when I go into stores, when I'm on hold, outdoors at an event, I am inundated with the music of my youth: the hits of the 80s.
Thing is, with some exceptions, it's the worst music of all time. And I will never be free of it.

See what I find funny is it’s not all the “hits” because I hear a lot of stuff that never got radio play.

New beer glasses

Why can’t we turn a small part of public libraries into casinos. Maybe a sports betting desk. IDK might get more kids interested in reading.

If I knew anything about water coolers do you really think I'd be hanging around the bird bath asking how to splash for myself when they talk dirty about me at work

Getting really into ghostwriting, no, not that one for celebrity book deals, the one where you tattoo memories on ghosts

NWO