The thread o’ tweets

The thread o’ tweets

@threadotweets.bsky.social

All the tweets I love, a few I hate. A few skeets too! Posted individually this time instead of threaded Posting in large batches, pls address complaints to dennisbhooper Alt text added but reply w/ additional description as you see fit. Also bluesky @‘s

23,989 Followers 1 Following 2,380 Posts Joined Nov 2024
5 months ago
Chris Stephens @ChrisStephensMD

CNN ANCHOR: this is NOT the america any of us signed up for. we'll be right back.
(five ads designed to trick old poor people into going bankrupt play)
CNN ANCHOR: and we're back
1:01 PM - 26 Sep 2018
199 Retweets 1,215 Likes
く

gonna post some old tweets i’ve saved over the years

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9 months ago

It’s still on the to do list, I just got a new job that’s kind of kicking my ass atm, so hopefully when that levels out…

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9 months ago

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. I’d wanted to go through the collection and reupload the ones where the alt text had the usernames cut off, because i like the idea of the collection being searchable, and I wanted to do that before I started doing new batches and, well, I still need to do that.

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9 months ago

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11 months ago
Devon Price @drdevonprice
its fast fashion to You. im wearing a forever21 sweater i got during the bush administration
10/10/21
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11 months ago
Lauren L Walker
@LLW902
the simple fact of the matter is that those of us who committed every sea shanty from Master & Commander: The Far Side of the World to memory are just better prepared for prolonged isolation than the rest of you
3/16/20
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11 months ago

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11 months ago

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11 months ago
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11 months ago

Paste this into the search window and you should find the screenshot you seek:

from:threadotweets.bsky.social fly moon

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11 months ago
name cannot be blank @stfuayen
when i randomly remember one of my shirts i haven't seen in a while

(Morty from Rick and morty waking up confused)
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11 months ago
horse deals @heymermaid
"This bad boy can fit so many oats" I slap the thoroughbred on his flank and he takes off running. I start to cry and jog after him
360 32 1 2
11 months ago
Daniel Kibblesmith @kibblesmith
I love that Slow Horses is mainly one spy who strategically makes himself so disgusting that he's effectively invisible and one spy who is unforgettably handsome and is always running top speed and shoving people out of the way shouting MOVE IT, I'M A SPY
895 112 5 7
11 months ago
Cullen Crawford @HelloCullen. 
 landlords should not exist except as a mean nickname sailors call us
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1 year ago

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1 year ago
dave karpf @davekarpf Aug 26, 2019
This afternoon, I tweeted a brief joke about a well-known NYT op- Ed columnist.
It got 9 likes and 0 retweets. I did not @ him. He does not follow me.
He just emailed me, cc'ing my university provost. He is deeply offended that I called him a metaphorical bedbug.

Alright fine... here is the email:

(Screenshot of the email from Bret Stephens)

From Bret Stephens, New York Times
Stephens, Bret<
to dkarpf, gwprovost
9:10 PM (59 minutes ago)
Dear Dr. Karpf,
Someone just pointed out a tweet you wrote about me, calling me a "bedbug." I'm often amazed about the things supposedly decent people are prepared to say about other people -- people they've never met -- on Twitter. I think you've set a new standard.
I would welcome the opportunity for you to come to my home, meet my wife and kids, talk to us for for a few minutes, and then call me a "bedbug" to my face. That would take some genuine courage and intellectual integrity on your part. I promise to be courteous no matter what you have to say.
Maybe it will make you feel better about yourself.
Please consider this a standing invitation. You are more than welcome to bring your significant other.
Cordially,
Bret Stephens

(Top of screenshot of Prof. Karpf’s original quote-tweet)

Dave Karpf @davekarpf
The bedbugs are a metaphor. The bedbugs are Bret Stephens.

Stuart A. Thompson @stuartathompson 
Breaking-There are bedbugs in the NYT newsroom.
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1 year ago
helena
@freshhel
I understand tht a very popular personality to perform rn is like "glamorous philosopher" but some of you are stupid
345 35 2 5
1 year ago
the heart
@Fredward3948576
I am beyond blessed to inhabit the Earth at
the same time as the moose, a beast of considerable proportions
2,042 295 13 30
1 year ago
Oscar Meyer Lansky @Medium Reginald
"So yeah, this is my dog"
"Hey there pal! How are you doing?"
"And this is my cat"
[nods] "Comrade."
1,034 150 3 2
1 year ago
slate
@pleasebegneiss.bsky.social
alright everybody stand up for this person to sing a really hard song about the war of 1812 solo a cappella, if they fuck up it will haunt them forever. then we'll play some baseball
893 116 3 7
1 year ago
@raxkingisdead

I like the whole Gondor/Mordor thing. All cities should have an evil version right across the river, like DC and Arlington
534 60 7 99
1 year ago
Alec Sulkin @thesulk
"Wanna listen to The Band?" "No. I'm just going to sit on an accordion while watching a Civil War documentary."
 Dec 29, 2017



Robbie Robertson
@r0bbier0berts0n
Wish I could've written for the Cleveland Show, instead.
748 70 9 12
1 year ago
Warrior Cop @wyatt_privilege
instagram used to trick ppl into fucking up bc you'd be used to double tapping a pic to zoom in and surprise you just hearted some girl's beach pic from 2 mos ago. same shit back in spirit by telling ppl who watches their stories
11/19/18
171 3 1 1
1 year ago
Jax Philosopher Queen
@Diamond_Jax
Bluey referenced "mitochondria" and I immediately said to my 4yo "the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" like a sleeper agent who just heard their activation phrase
1,069 126 2 9
1 year ago
Coolee Bravo @BravoCoolee
Twitter the only place where well articulated sentences still get misinterpreted.
You can say "I like pancakes" and somebody will say "So you hate waffles?"
No bitch. Dats a whole new sentence. Wtf is you talkin about.
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1 year ago
Argon Dreamcast Evangelion
@synthandlasers
Stan Lee: "So this guy has the powers of a spider. But we need a villain. What's the natural enemy of a spider?"
Jack Kirby: *claws his way out from under a three-hundred pound pile of cocaine" "Goblins"
1,625 326 10 31
1 year ago
Peter Raleigh @PetreRaleigh
I love watching movies. Very few things I love more than watching movies. But choosing what movie to watch? WOATed activity. Bottom of the barrel use of leisure time
351 49 1 7
1 year ago
Commander Ikari @NERV_Com
the fact that i'm at risk of seeing a 14 year old's opinion at any point during my day is a human rights violation
Aug 30, 2020
540 75 2 11
1 year ago
Christopher @molochofficial
theologians don't want you to know that you can defeat any vice or sin by accelerating it. A few years ago I became so greedy that I had a reverse-mystical experience and decided that everything in the world already belonged to me, rendering material acquisition redundant.
343 48 5 7
1 year ago
Rachel Shukert
@RachelShukert
The South had a culture of grotesque cruelty but tolerance for personal eccentricity and the
Midwest had a culture of basic decency combined with total insistence on social conformity and now the two bad parts have come together to form the horror we have
now
6/20/22
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