Kelly_Instalove

I just threw up in my mouth.

Apparently one can get hiccups during general anesthesia. The human body is so fucking weird.

Like full body spasm hiccups you could probably hear from the parking lot.

The tech said "oh no worries, we deal with much worse" but obviously they're going to call me the hiccups lady from now on.

I had a long dentist appointment this morning for a filling and crown work, and I got the most aggressive hiccups of my life right during the middle of it.

OH HONEY NO #helpful

I gasped out loud! So happy for you!

I can open a tube of refrigerator biscuits without flinching.

One day I will save you all from the zombie horde.

Lassitude is a good word.

Baby Boom!

That dude will never not look like a frat boy who needs to be regularly punched in the face.

My dog has a doppelganger at doggie daycare. I just spent 15 minutes watching someone else's playful dog on the webcam livestream.

MY dumb dog is never cute in camera range because he's invariably stuck to the nearest human like Gorilla Glue.

They must have run out of "mysterious guy in a greatcoat walking away down a foggy brick-lined lane" photos, lol.

Tri-color American bulldog sitting on couch.

I can GUARANTEE my dumbass bulldog would do the exact same thing. Zero spatial awareness + zero fucks + a center of gravity that's entirely in their bowling ball heads.

Ahhhhh *grabbyhands* Her titles and covers instantly take hold of my brain.

Audiobook player with All of Us Murderers by KJ Charles, narrated by Sonny Archer

Now playing:

Whenever I 5-star a book, I feel personally responsible for its success. So, you're welcome.

*pats self on back*

Oh dammit, I'm so sorry (hugs)

Work client is a cancer screening org based at a flagship state university. I just scheduled a call for Monday to discuss how much we need to censor ourselves about health equity/disparities.

(1) Fuck this racist, sexist, homophobic cockroach-infested hellhole administration. (2) FUCK CANCER.

FUCK CANCER.

Jaysus effing christ.

BACK OFF I WAS IN LINE FIRST

Female brown bear growling ferociously

OH MY GOD YOU wrote this just for meeee *grabbyhands*

Audiobook of Circle of Days by Ken Follett, narrated by Richard Armitage

Now playing:

Is that a stoat?

Just clear your calendar and read them all, it's the best kind of self-care.

Ah, goddammit. Fuck cancer.

Audiobook of Empire of Shadows by Jacquelyn Benson, narrated by Alex Picard

Now playing: