Linda

feeling great after saying to myself that I will not start any new PnP adventures until everything now running is finished

that means Pathfinder, and Driftwood if we continue in the next few months, and the 1on1.

not feeling the campaign at all lately, and forcing myself doesn't work.

is it depression? is it burnout? is it both? is it neither? I'm so, so tired

this world will crush me before it will change me.

sometimes its really fucking hard not being anybody's #1

life would be so much simpler without empathy or a conscience

envy and bitching about won't get me ahead but holy shit is life unfair.

anxiety is fucking funny because your brain is like constantly in blinking red light alarm mode but doesn't tell you what's actually wrong

it's exhausting

Sprechstundenhilfe haut casual meinen deadname raus und ich habe direkt ne Panikattacke

Chefin ruft auf Arbeit an (tut sie oft, wenn sie später kommt)

"geht's dir besser"
"ja"
"was war denn los, körperlich oder psychisch?"
"ich will nicht drüber reden"
"wars denn das gleiche wie letztes mal"
"möchtest du nicht lieber reden wenn du hier bist?"
"ich dachte du willst nicht drüber reden"

I'm at work btw, very proud of me

I miss having a clear direction in life, go there, do that, progress

adulthood is hard, especially with depression

like, what do I "want" to do? who knows? me? ahaha

part of me still wants to quit and just be unemployed for a while, but we all know how that would go

once told my coworker that I'm calling in sick and getting a new job as soon as I'm having stomach ache when thinking about going to work and yeah

what now

almost froze my head off while showering. fun. fits my mood today.

how often do I need to go to a CSD parade and be overwhelmed and annoyed and disappointed until I finally realise that CSDs are not for me?

"is it one continuous panic attack or a lot of smaller ones" and other fun questions

this is not a gossip account.
nothing here is ever directed at any single specific person.