Eunoia

Posting sunshine on main so nobody worries about me but FUCK ME I don't have it in me to actually do anything I hate it here

Yes, go eep, so you have enough energy to beat my ass very, very sadly

Just give up on me, already. I'm too tired for this…

I appreciate you, I really do.

But I think this is ultimately just me being a lost cause. Everyone else can see it, after all;;

… It's so stupid. A popular ship, several fictional characters, the color red, a popular game, humans with animal ears and tail, mortality and existientalism, being called cute, and adorable, my physical self,

But I'm just asking people not to yell at me. It's the one thing I can't stand…

I have so many triggers, but I only really outline negativity and rage as a trigger. It's the most prominent one.

And I'm already trained to do as much as I can to prevent that from happening. I do everything, I do more, and more. If I do good enough, I should be left alone, at least(?)

I try writing things down,
I tell people to remind me,
And to remind me,
And to just keep reminding me until it becomes habit.

And I warn them this is just how I am.

And I tell them I'm trying to change that.

They say it's okay.

Nothing is enough.

Of course it's not okay.

And I end up here.

Well, the issue is people giving up on telling me things.

Then they either lash out at me or at someone else as a result.

If it's someone else, they come to me either lashing out or crying.

But is it like… Wrong, though… Treat each other as equals, part of a unit?

Or am I really just that much of a lost cause that everyone's giving up on me?

Am I not trying hard enough?

Why does this keep happening..?

Because people have issues with me, and then take it out on others…

I know my social ideals tend to be childish and naïve, but I still think they're the best way to go about things. I try to integrate them into the societal norm. But maybe that's wrong, too.

Maybe I'm not really learning social things, but rather, cherry-picking what fit this idea.

I'm just ruminating…

Coworkers, boss, family, friends. It doesn't even matter.

I work on a system where people have things they're bad at, and others who are good at it should help them, and vice versa.

I'm covering for everyone else, best I can, and just…

…

Am I doing this all wrong?

😭🫠✨️

Man, I wish everyone hated me so nobody could stop me from offing myself. Someone else can take my place idc

At least I'm good at my job.

At least I'm good at something, I guess.

I'm just a real shitty friend with a Tic Tac for a brain.

Nearly all my friends don't even bother trying to communicate with me. They'd rather detonate on me. If that's not a sure sign it's pointless to try with me, that I'm incapable of changing, I don't know what is.

Not worth talking to…

I don't even USE those muscles and they are fucking SORE

Menses kicking my ass rn and work is trying to get me to quit wtf

I honestly thought you knew what you were doing;; /lh

I feel like everyone is making progress but me.

Wake up, wake up, please wake up… Before it's too late.

You're one of the people that are the reason why I'm seeing Christmas decorations in June /silly

By the time I actually have time for em, I'm too tired 🫠🫠🫠

I feel like all I can do is just wad up every single piece of knowledge up into a ball and throw it at people cause I've got nothing else going for me

Man, I feel so useless

Everyone has some sort of "specialty" they can talk about

What do I have?

Nothing.

Wow I’ve gotten so bad at interacting w people. I’m so sorry 😭😭

Sometimes, I'm reminded I have way too many triggers

Then I remember I opt to ignore them

When will it end

Omfg I get it

It's Halloween

Shut up already

Never apologize for being you~

Who am I, to you?

I’m losing it