Break legs! Or scan broken ones??? Idk sending medical adjacent good vibes

I have been anxious for so long. It is like I am trying to break the world record for how long you can consecutively be anxious.

society erred when we removed the computer from its honored place in the home and ushered it into every part of our profane world. we must rebuild the temple of the Computer Room

Fight the Oligarchy Rally Poster with event details for: Las Vegas, NV, Tempe, AZ, Greeley, CO, Denver, CO, and Tucson, AZ

⚡️FIGHT THE OLIGARCHY RALLY ⚡️
STARTING TOMORROW.

Nevada. Arizona. Colorado.
You, me, and Bernie.
Dem and GOP districts. ❤️💙

See you there 💪🏽🌞

DHS Begins National Registry Of Duolingo Users WASHINGTON—Warning that the highly suspicious individuals constituted a threat to the country’s safety and cultural unity, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security announced plans Monday to create a national registry of Duolingo users. “For unknown reasons, there are people in this country attempting to learn foreign languages ranging from Italian to Japanese, and we need […]

"Anyone currently living in the country and earning XP on Duolingo must comply and register with the government or face deportation." theonion.com/dhs-beg...

This piece is very thoughtful and gets at a lot of nebulous unpleasant feelings I had about Anora and especially its final sequence, which I did not like at all.

I’m joining the war on Canada on the side of Canada.

I love the red green show, let me in.

Hearing from Community Partners International, which works from Myanmar to Bangladesh, that USAID cuts mean 14,000 people with HIV losing access to lifesaving meds and a total stop in all HIV and TB screening. So many people will die due to these chaotic, sudden, horrifically implemented cuts.

#EconomicBoycott
People have the power!

It's been almost four years since Bo Burnham's 'Inside' released, but whenever I see a reference to it in the wild I'll still go "hell yeah, Bo Burnham's 'Inside' is really good".

Good morning to the people who voted the correct options #Survivor

It is February 28 tomorrow.

This means a total and complete economic blackout.

This means buying nothing.

AT ALL

Not even your coffee!

One thing you learn as your parents get older is that if you’re really lucky, they will live long enough to need a lot of help.

Yes, occasionally you get the fantasy of people living peacefully and unchanged until they’re 100 and then dying in their sleep, but it doesn’t usually go that way.

This is how it’s done.

Report: You Live In An Embarrassing Country WASHINGTON—According to a new report published Wednesday by the Pew Research Center, you live in a deeply embarrassing and barely functional country. “Our latest research and statistical analysis show...

Report: You Live In An Embarrassing Country

I was really hoping Carolyn would be the one to make it out of that round table

talking about government waste but not about the creation of an entirely new branch of the military so pointless it has its own sitcom

-The Question: How the hell did we get here?
-The Answer: Citizens United.

They don't want to teach history so they can repeat it.

the SNL anniversary show is so healing. I needed this

🎶 Tryna find some coal so he’s prolly a minerrrrrrrrr 🎶

🙋‍♀️ my stupid brain and I thank you!

I cannot stress this enough: the #SNL50 anniversary special is on
🚨🚨SUNDAY at 8 ET/5 PT🚨🚨
(red carpet starts at 7 ET/4 PT)

It’s on SUNDAY and not on saturday like an awards show would be

Tell everyone you know!

2012 era tumblr Emily is awake im so sorry to say (excluding one thing about this)

BREAKING: With zero points and zero field goals in Super Bowl LIX experts agree Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker would’ve been more useful had he stayed home, cooked dinner, and watched his kids.

A leading pediatrician was already worried about the future of vaccines. Then RFK Jr. came along In a new book, pediatric infectious disease specialist Dr. Adam Ratner details the history of measles, a virus that’s often a bellwether for public health disasters.

"The best and the worst thing about vaccination is that it 'makes nothing happen.'

A child successfully inoculated against measles doesn’t fall sick with that condition, doesn’t miss school, doesn’t go to the hospital. They don’t suffer life-changing complications. They don’t die prematurely."

Write another song about West Virginia challenge

please no Super Bowl spoilers I haven't been able to watch the last 52 so I am not caught up yet thanks

be the monkey wrench you want to see in the works

Showcasing the 'I Just Love Corporations!' Headline T-Shirt

Shop at The Onion store. It's not like anything else has made you happy.
store.theonion.com/c...