CtrlSpice (they/them)

A humidifier on the sink in front of a bathroom mirror. The combination of small "on" and "full" lights above a wide curved vent make a pleasant smiling face and on the back of the humidifier, which can be seen in the mirror, another wide curved air vent and the two screws holding it together above it make a horrified face.

Me whenever I have to communicate with other human beings #anxiety

So this was a hit.

A photo of a horrifying star-nosed mole with giant claws an a nose that suggests two bright red anemones

You ever think how Star-nosed moles are just out there existing without permission, all the time, even while you’re sleeping.

Some absolute dumbass ordered an electronic drum kit for a certain tiny child. And a Rivendell LEGO set for the slightly larger child.

👋 Hello, it’s me! I’m the dumbass!

We are happy to announce DuckDB v1.4.3 LTS, our latest patch release. Along with bugfixes, this release ships native extensions and Python support for Windows ARM64. Head to duckdb.org/2025/12/09/a... for the announcement blog post and installation instructions.

this is going to sound like a stoned guy thought but it is wild how candles work. absolutely one of those things that we invented through trial and error that we never would have figured out through the application of principles

a cartoon girl is sitting in a pink and purple vehicle holding a drum stick . Alt: Ghost Spider from Spidey and his Amazing Friends playing a playing a pink and purple drum set.

We looooove Ghost Spider and also making noises with sticks.

The child wants a drum set for Christmas. Because Ghost Spider, obviously.

Sentence that fell out of my mouth with 100% seriousness today: "Ooooh! I'm gonna do OpenTelemetry to your soldering iron."

Realizing several hours after the fact that I could have phrased this better, or at least a bit less like a threat. 🤷

Comic character is holding a cookie. The speech bubble says "I will do science to it"

I need to re-read Dresden Codak, but that's where the phrasing is from.

Also I am doing a batch at @recurse.com right now, and "I will do OpenTelemetry" to it is kind of a meme because I am having a lot of fun instrumenting increasingly weirder things for my personal amusement.

A trace waterfall showing my LaTeX compilation workflow

Okay, so I ran with this half-joke-half-experiment and swapped the original latexmk script with the one I instrumented, and here's my CV getting compiled, visualized in a tool I built! This is very silly, but also unbelievably cool!

I did OpenTelemetry to it...

You know, it’s not like I’m half-assing this, I am actually trying my best despite the fuck-ups.

You are neither wrong nor untimely with your advice, but also I'm not gonna. 😁

I swear if I hear "Recipe terminated with fatal error: spawn latexmk ENOENT." one more time, we are turning this cargo bike around.

This is about the time I usually paste everything into Overleaf and call it a day, but my time at Recurse has made me stubborn.

Aaaaaaand nothing is yelling at me so maybe fixed it?

Updating my resume is fun because first I have to gently handhold latexmk specifically through an existential crisis.

It’s okay baby. Perl is still exactly where it was last time. I’m so sorry sweetheart, I should have been more specific about PATH in my project settings.

Okay so I know we’ve only ever interacted once or twice about cat shenanigans or something, but I’m so happy for y’all right now. New mattress is a holiday so worth celebrating.

Welp. My phone just reminded me that I had a Toto phase.

A friend reminded me today that Propagandhi was a thing and I was just puttering around the kitchen, singing a happy little tune when my 7-year-old goes “Mom. You said ‘fuck’ three times.”

Whoever came up with “be bold start cold” is the absolute worst. But they will magically become the best and most clever in 15ish minutes.

Ooh, fancy ZOOP! BIRD!

i fully agree with this theory and in my actual field, british architectural history, The Problem is that Salisbury Cathedral is built on top of a lake and no i am not exaggerating

So the thing about that is that I put his favourite sleeping hat in his bed. ☺️

A grey cat is curled up in a green, broad-rimmed hiking hat on the corner of my desk, getting ready for his post-nap snooze.

I’m working on the weekend, and Bug is all curled up in his favourite hiking hat, keeping me company.

me as a single person: daylight savings is kind of annoying

me as a parent: kill it with fire and salt the ashes

I joined Cloudflare to build this. It’s still very early, and there’s lots still missing, but I hope the vision is clear.

"They don't know it's" meme captioned they don't know its daylight savings and there are kitties with empty food bowls below

While providing tech support for my FIL:

FIL: What's that screen?

ME: The terminal. You should never use it.

FIL: Never?

ME: So you know how I'm allowed to watch you open the electrical panel and swap out breakers, but I'm not allowed to ever open up it myself?

FIL: Ah! I understand, thank you.

Someone stole my hearing aid out of its charger last night, chewed on the wire, and hid his crimes under the bed, under a tank top which he stole out of the laundry.