Michael Penis Jr.

The Last Jedi is the only post-Lucas Star Wars release with a credible claim on being Art in addition to Product, and the only one we will ever get

I like when he goes ding dang dong dong ding dang dong dong ding dang, and then does it again to make sure we got it

Barbara Stanwyck, The Only Allowable Republican

for some reason

my oafishness makes relocation a challenge. can you accommodate with some kind of trebuchet service?

bio blurb from the website Andscape: “Justin Tinsley is a senior culture writer for Andscape. He firmly believes “Cash Money Records takin’ ova for da ’99 and da 2000” is the single most impactful statement of his generation.” No he doesn’t

this has “charlie brown had hoes” energy. No you don’t Justin. You don’t believe that

HUTZ: No, poop & pee zone!

First they came for the Autists who were not Jews but were Neurodivergent Zionists and Proud Friends of Jews,

Smike was an energy drink sold in Western Pennsylvania for 3 months in 2004 that got banned after tests confirmed it was 13% alcohol and 17% liquid natural gas

restaurants that claim “homemade seasonal preserves” but don’t cook the fruit to a high enough temperature to activate the damn pectin, YOU 🫵🏻 are the “Oaf of the Day”

I mean it was worth $200 million to her,

my mom sent me a link to a job with a drone company with clearly 100% evil branding and I thought for a sec “hm. well maybe they make normal drones…”

well?

I’m just south of there

even if you buy the “capability” disclaimer that it may not work sometimes, Tesla is explicitly also claiming that other times, it will! Which it does not!

Quiet! I’m taking it out wide next week. Tubi’s already hot to trot

the girl reading this :)

Holiday (I’m an iconoclast)

caption is mislabeled. that’s actually my buddy Jeff

9/11 equaling 0.81818181!!!!! instead of it being 9/11

suck my dick Walt Whitman - da Pittsburgh Poetess

look it was the early aughts. I did a lot of stuff I probably wouldn’t do again. I had bangs

@ me next time you coward

First Yaccarino, now Bongino. Can someone call in a wellness check on Quentin Tarantino

It’s as if criticizing $200M+ mids is against the national interest. Like you’re criticizing the Troops. Do you make fun of the Navy when it lets multiple fighter jets slide off an aircraft carrier into the ocean? Oh. You do? Because it’s funny? Extremely funny? Well you ma’am are a bully,

I gave them bulk pricing on my hamstrings

I took a dump today too

I love to join a zoom meeting to introduce myself as the bridge between Sales and our Client Success team before checking DraftKings for 45 minutes. I make $375,000 a year

it’s also a good descriptor for genAI output

AI is sending itself back in time, but only to yassify old movie posters