Jesse

blessed mail day thank you @roryblank.bsky.social

NIXON: people are always eating soup, it’s just [expletive] wet food!
HALDEMAN: [inaudible]
NIXON: and Chunky sucks too

they should’ve committed to killing off Homer Simpson in season 2 after he ate the poison blowfish

I think a great start would be telling James Carville’s andouille sausage-lookin-ass to go kick rocks

When Friends is on and the guy gets his head stuck in a turkey

I agree but this would require establishment democrats to like trans people and it’s pretty clear at this point that they do not

maybe i am going insane

we always talk about the “JFK blown away” line — but the actual funniest lyric from We Didn’t Start The Fire is “AIDS, crack, Bernie Goetz”

my “This Company is Not Enron” memo is raising questions that have already been answered by my memo

They’re probably working their three jobs but also I dunno maybe they’ve lived their whole adult lives with Trump as the dominating force in politics so they don’t really have any memory of things being like…normal

nothing says “don’t focus on the fact that I’m associated with a known sexual predator” like using executive privilege to greenlight a new Brett Ratner movie

yes in fact there are multiple movies in which Sydney Sweeney plays the romantic lead

the next Ken Burns doc should be about this

despite being the richest man in the world I still view Musk as a hubristic figure simply because all he wants is to be funny and have an above-average hog, and it turns out those are the only two things that money can’t buy

I mean — if true this is good news but also the democrats caved on the CR not even two weeks ago so 🤷‍♂️

we will be means-testing the camps

In my opinion the hottest person to ever live was Winona Ryder during her shoplifting trial, and in retrospect this media event coincided with my puberty in such a way that totally presaged many things about my adult life

I guess this is AI but those models are all lookin at what we’re lookin at; I rest my case

money can buy you lots of things but based on this picture an ass is not one of them

read this just a little too fast

*Liam Neeson in ‘Taken’*

“If you take my daughter 17 times, I will find you — and I will kill you”

they have yet to make a movie that takes place in New York City but as soon as they do I’ll be sure to respond to this prompt

*watching porno*

“This film is a love-letter to intercourse”

"Never trust woo woos" has been my guiding principle in life and has literally never once let me down lol

the fact that everybody with any kind of money and power in the world is this stupid furthers my pet theory that the non-redacted Epstein files are going to be released completely by accident

there definitely is this tension between the party apparatus who value homogeneity and safeness over everything else — and actual voters who tend to like someone cool and unique like Zohran and Michelle Wu. It’s kind of like how everybody is bored of the MCU now.

will always think of this excerpt:

as a person who has not yet attained object permanence I’m sorry but I do not know what you’re referring to

In Monrovia, California, protesters are purchasing 17¢ ICE scrapers from Home Depot and immediately returning them to create long lines and slow down the entire store. Their aim is to disrupt sales and convey a message opposing ICE raids occurring in their neighborhood.