Wren 🍋💧

if im wrong ab the cals oops -.-; also dont ask why theres cook marks on the turkey, cold meat makes me sick lol

2 slices turkey and an apple - abt 150 cal i think?? idk i just guessed tbh i was too lazy to weigh the apple

apple sauce, babybel, turkey and chocolate chips (2), abt 140cal?? i just guessed that too oopsies IM LAZY LMAO

ok i actually weighed this one. 1 apricot, 2 potatoes, 3 slices turkey. plus some milk and cream cheese, about 345cal

i keep taking pictures of my meals like they’re gonna be nice looking
also apparently i love turkey why the heck are they all w turkey 💔

writing something for the first time in a while if i reread this shit and end up having to scrap it someone’s going to dye. and lets jsut saey. dat soemon is m 😋😋😋😋😋😋

kinda started crying ab having two chocolate bars yesterday but that put me up to 1000 erm scratches head

im pretty sure i eat way less than i should just regularly. i exercise and walk n shit and i get up to 1000cal on a bad day. but i still don’t lose weight KILL MEEEEE

i mean realistically its multiple things- extreme restrictions, intense stress, etc etc but my food issues have always stemmed from just how things are where i live urgghhh

i wish i could afford to move out sometimes. i’m scared of like 75% of the food in my household and i end up binging somehow??? T.T

lowk i saw someone and decided i need to stop eating like forever

my parents want me to start eating together w them every dinner time :(((

as like a family thing but ffhdhdgggss how dare u do this to meee

i just feel disappointed i can’t lose weight as much and as fast as i used to. it feels like i’m constantly hitting roadblocks. i keep seeing im back at 69kg and lowk wanna kill myswlf 😂😂😂

i need to start working out again. hopefully increasing calories burned and muscle mass will help me actually lose weight ._.

wouldn’t hurt to have muscle definition too i suppose

i hate myself i just keep eating and eating only bc i WANT TO not bc i actually need to eugh

why do i suffer from every disorder ever

not genuinely, obviously, but if i wasn’t constantly struggling i’d find it funny just how many issues i have-

there were so many sweets in the house and i couldn’t lock myself in my room so i ended up eating a lot i hate myself aaahhggghh

i kinda wonder if its one of those weird childh/ood things bc my main abuser was v uw and most positive interactions i’ve had w ppl were from ow ppl. but also my closest fri/end was uw so idek >,>

got paranoid rephrasing

idk why i feel the need to tell someone so i’m saying this into the edb/sky void but i think it’s ironic i find chu/bbier people more attractive yet i have an e/d which is at least 50% caused due to my own internalized fatph/obia

i hope my beat friend is generally uneducated on e/d s bc i told her i’d fasted for nearly 51hrs before going out to eat w her. i think i’m too fat for anyone to be concerned but hhfdgggdbbd i feel nervous impulsively telling her 🥲🥲

i don’t think i have anything to be concerned about but i keep feeling uncomfortable due to fullness and it feels like an attack on my health. ik i’m bloated but i feel utterly disgusting ._.;

at least i had fun but eugh

i’m not fasting for that long only to break it with a huge meal i feel absolutely terrible i think i need to stop eating forever eww

i lost .4lbs after not eating for an entire day and drinking under 100cals this fasting shit is a sc/am i swear (i’m still gonna fast) (it’s probably just waterweight or maybe my metabolism is really actually that fucked idk idk)

hehe one more hour then i can finally eat 😋

gonna have to walk a bunch to get to the restaurant im meeting my friend at though uuugghhhhhfffg

im going insane, doing a liquid fast and i had 75 cals instead of the 45 i planned and it’s not a big deal at all but aaahhh

i’m 66.5kg rn and i’m so happy omg
i know im still fat asf but i’ve been so upset for being 69kg this feels significantly better LMAOO

last meal until thursday hehe, i’m gonna try a 50hrs fast now

just gotta lock in, i keep eating under maintenance yet i’m maintaining T_T probably slow metabolism and water weight but i hate it still aaaaa

the increase is to 650, i feel a little horrified knowing i’m eating more than 500cals but it’ll be for the best ._.

increasing my intake tomorrow so i can get through work THEN fast for an entire day after. im fastingpilled rn (and definitely not just ⭐️ving myself nooo)

gonna try making some curry in a few days, i loove curry and i havent had it in so long :((

i think i’m gonna try fasting for 40-48hrs depending on if i don’t have work tomorrow. i hope fasting for so long will make me feel slightly better about going out to eat ;_;

accidentally ate a lot but it’s around maintenance so it’s ok. i’ll just fast whenever i don’t have work i guess. tehe

i don’t wanna eat today. i know it’s unavoidable tomorrow and that’s stressing me out.
i might just look suspicious today and get back to “normal” tomorrow or something bc i’m not sure if i can stomach eating anything T_T;