Wren 🍋💧

gonna try making some curry in a few days, i loove curry and i havent had it in so long :((

i think i’m gonna try fasting for 40-48hrs depending on if i don’t have work tomorrow. i hope fasting for so long will make me feel slightly better about going out to eat ;_;

accidentally ate a lot but it’s around maintenance so it’s ok. i’ll just fast whenever i don’t have work i guess. tehe

i don’t wanna eat today. i know it’s unavoidable tomorrow and that’s stressing me out.
i might just look suspicious today and get back to “normal” tomorrow or something bc i’m not sure if i can stomach eating anything T_T;

fuck i need to sleep BUT i got to 25hrs/ 37-38hrs on my fast we ball

burger omad tomorrow, shld be abt 600cals :3

HELP LMAOO i doubt they’d care that much but sometimes i wonder if they see that kinda thing and go “ok is this edtwt core or whatever”

i mean someone has to put the items in the bag? maybe its a different person tho i dont know how grocery stores work >,>;;

i have such poor impulse control i bought 60 protein bars (9 boxes) bc they were on sale SOMEONE PUT ME DOWN

do you think the grocery store delivery guy will notice that i only buy monster and protein bars or does he not gaf

convincing myself all food besides like a couple veggies are inedible so i don’t eat today

i keep eating ew ew ewww i need to stop NOW

i keep rambling idk im bored

anyways i think its gotten worse but i had a stutter as a kid, and now it’s come back for some reason? i can’t talk to people anymore irl bc i sound like a bumbling fucking idiot i hate this stupid body

being skinni would fix this tho (me when i lie)

i forgot how intense the feeling of “needing” to binge is. i always think i’m over exaggerating, but when i get hit with it, it’s horrifying. i don’t even have severe bed which makes it all the worse

i can deal with hunger easily, but a bed episode is so different. or am i just insane and fat????

// sh

sometimes i really wanna give into some of these fantasies as a way to harm myself even further, but at the same time i don’t wanna accidentally hurt other people doing so, so it’s just arrrghhh
then my mh gets better and i go like “ew ew ew no way i’d wanna do that wtaf” lmao

hate my intrusive thoughts, my mental health has been ass since i’ve been sick but fuck it we ball

i was so stressed out i couldn’t sleep or really do anything, and impressively, none of my coping mechanisms worked which resulted in binging. idk i’m just mad bc why couldn’t i have turned to the other thing instead of EATING ewww

oh god i just ate so much someone put me down like a sick dog before i eat anymore

god i hope i can lose weight this month, if i ruin it by eating out twice i think i might have to kay em ess

being qu/eer and online i’ve experienced lots of discourse, i used to have a tmed acc (ew), but i saw someone have the audacity to say they’re werent “popular girl” bullies then they make fun of people w neop/ronouns, alt styles, the/rians and ppl with “obvious pr/ide merch”
i hate to break it to u…

i wonder if some people realize being que/er doesn’t excuse u from being big\oted >,>

im not skinny enough I need to starve
⬇️
fuck this ed, binges
⬇️
why tf would I do that, I need to stop
⬇️
actually im faking my ed, I nvr had one
⬇️
im a terrible person and im fat!
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no more food, i must starve!
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fuck this, binges
🔄🔄🔄🔄🔄

update i wanna go home, everyone’s irritated and i wanna cry :,)

increased my intake by 200 bc i have a long shift today but oh my god i feel so gross aaaaa T.T

i wanna dy/e my ha/ir black but i’ve always been too nervous to. I do NOT believe in semi-permanent dy/e unless its a bright colour lool

when i have enough saved, i’m gonna get some black and red ha/ir d/ye, and d/ye my ha/ir black and make some red and black exte/nsions… i think that’d be fun…

i only ate abt 400 today and survived it huzzah. and it makes me feel better that i’ll be under “budget” again lol

i might’ve even burnt off a good chunk of that at work bc i run around all day 😭

gahhh ate over maintenance today. gonna try to stay around 400 for the rest of the week and hope i just naturally burn it off bc eugh

we havent had polls for a while, i hope they add them soon <//3

im a little active hiii

hone/ymoon phase? what… what’s that… psh…

i need to eat but my stomach’s still upset ;_; i have a lotta fat on my body and i ate lots yesterday so i don’t think i’d keel over lmao but i hate being lightheaded grr

all will be fixed tomorrow, omad that’s over my maintenance :,)

omg i did too like a few weeks ago, it scared me soo bad