We apologize that the aquatic bird house and sea bird aviary is just a seagull pecking at a cigarette and a bag of chips but we're still fighting a lawsuit from when our egret bit a kid.
09.03.2026 01:15 — 👍 170 🔁 26 💬 3 📌 2We apologize that the aquatic bird house and sea bird aviary is just a seagull pecking at a cigarette and a bag of chips but we're still fighting a lawsuit from when our egret bit a kid.
09.03.2026 01:15 — 👍 170 🔁 26 💬 3 📌 2He's still lying there.
09.03.2026 01:13 — 👍 64 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0👏
08.03.2026 02:48 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0OSHA? we adhere to OSH**T
08.03.2026 02:36 — 👍 9 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0R.I.P. gorilla habitat intern Mario, crushed by a flying wooden barrel.
08.03.2026 02:07 — 👍 206 🔁 27 💬 9 📌 0Harambe's face appeared on a scratching post. The gorilla habitat is closed while we seek confirmation of a miracle.
06.03.2026 23:00 — 👍 132 🔁 8 💬 5 📌 0
To: All Staff
Subject: Marketing
We've rebranded the Murder Hornets as the Buzz Kills™️
Please note updated signage in the apiaries.
The lemurs can take care of themselves
05.03.2026 07:32 — 👍 7 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0The lions, tigers, wolves, bears, rhinos, leopards, and chimps got out. We don't really have a plan but we're confident it'll be ok.
05.03.2026 06:49 — 👍 218 🔁 32 💬 16 📌 6Delete your account
04.03.2026 01:08 — 👍 9 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0YOU'RE TELLING US A MINK STOLE A JACKET?
04.03.2026 01:06 — 👍 138 🔁 20 💬 7 📌 2
Poster about the different types of the animal "TAKIN" which is a large, goat-antelope native to the Himalayan mountains and western China
Get your tickets for the launch party of our brand new Takin habitat, “Look Who’s Takin!”
03.03.2026 07:32 — 👍 113 🔁 10 💬 7 📌 1NOT TODAY
01.03.2026 23:07 — 👍 7 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Please don't ask the penguins to dance. They're not in the mood today.
01.03.2026 23:05 — 👍 194 🔁 28 💬 9 📌 1If your child falls into the gorilla enclosure you’re gonna need a new child. We only have the one gorilla.
01.03.2026 04:04 — 👍 1168 🔁 161 💬 14 📌 7Their bonobo was just trying to gtfo of Redville.
28.02.2026 22:22 — 👍 71 🔁 5 💬 0 📌 0Greeneville isn’t just a zoo, it's also a rehab center. We’re weaning the meerkats off fermented berries.
28.02.2026 01:00 — 👍 192 🔁 25 💬 9 📌 2Yeah. What's wrong with you?
27.02.2026 03:24 — 👍 17 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0Imagine two cows having sex. Now imagine them wearing tiny hats. What's wrong with you?
27.02.2026 03:18 — 👍 418 🔁 88 💬 28 📌 4The lemur is an Eagles fan and you must be ok with that.
26.02.2026 02:43 — 👍 13 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0It's free, but you must accept the totality of the lemur, including the disgusting grooming rituals.
26.02.2026 02:38 — 👍 11 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
They have a groundhog that can predict the weather?
Big deal.
We have a lemur that can help you live an authentic life.
When one of our animals loses its shit, we hit them with a tranq dart until they calm down.
#SOTU
We have an existential hippo
24.02.2026 05:21 — 👍 7 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0The Aquatic Sensory Deprivation Tank Experience has been discontinued since one of our hippos freaked out and saw God.
24.02.2026 03:53 — 👍 329 🔁 53 💬 7 📌 2Our antelope herd has gotten bigger than planned. Come teach your children about death this Wednesday.
23.02.2026 02:49 — 👍 191 🔁 25 💬 7 📌 2Reminder: Any visitor attempting to provide coffee to the sloths will be banned for life.
22.02.2026 03:20 — 👍 305 🔁 52 💬 14 📌 3The Zip Line Adventure through our giraffe enclosure has been discontinued after several of the giraffes were knocked unconscious.
21.02.2026 04:29 — 👍 212 🔁 30 💬 7 📌 0Redville polar bears have dad bods
20.02.2026 07:12 — 👍 126 🔁 15 💬 3 📌 1No. They're messed up.
20.02.2026 05:32 — 👍 6 🔁 1 💬 2 📌 0