Greeneville Zoo greenevillezoo

NOT TODAY

01.03.2026 23:07 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Please don't ask the penguins to dance. They're not in the mood today.

01.03.2026 23:05 — 👍 105 🔁 13 💬 6 📌 1

If your child falls into the gorilla enclosure you’re gonna need a new child. We only have the one gorilla.

01.03.2026 04:04 — 👍 1122 🔁 153 💬 13 📌 6

Their bonobo was just trying to gtfo of Redville.

28.02.2026 22:22 — 👍 63 🔁 4 💬 0 📌 0

Greeneville isn’t just a zoo, it's also a rehab center. We’re weaning the meerkats off fermented berries.

28.02.2026 01:00 — 👍 181 🔁 23 💬 9 📌 2

Yeah. What's wrong with you?

27.02.2026 03:24 — 👍 16 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

Imagine two cows having sex. Now imagine them wearing tiny hats. What's wrong with you?

27.02.2026 03:18 — 👍 404 🔁 83 💬 27 📌 4

The lemur is an Eagles fan and you must be ok with that.

26.02.2026 02:43 — 👍 13 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

It's free, but you must accept the totality of the lemur, including the disgusting grooming rituals.

26.02.2026 02:38 — 👍 11 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

They have a groundhog that can predict the weather?
Big deal.
We have a lemur that can help you live an authentic life.

26.02.2026 02:33 — 👍 194 🔁 23 💬 9 📌 1

When one of our animals loses its shit, we hit them with a tranq dart until they calm down.

#SOTU

25.02.2026 03:17 — 👍 223 🔁 35 💬 8 📌 1

We have an existential hippo

24.02.2026 05:21 — 👍 7 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

The Aquatic Sensory Deprivation Tank Experience has been discontinued since one of our hippos freaked out and saw God.

24.02.2026 03:53 — 👍 326 🔁 53 💬 7 📌 2

Our antelope herd has gotten bigger than planned. Come teach your children about death this Wednesday.

23.02.2026 02:49 — 👍 188 🔁 24 💬 7 📌 2

Reminder: Any visitor attempting to provide coffee to the sloths will be banned for life.

22.02.2026 03:20 — 👍 303 🔁 52 💬 14 📌 3

The Zip Line Adventure through our giraffe enclosure has been discontinued after several of the giraffes were knocked unconscious.

21.02.2026 04:29 — 👍 212 🔁 30 💬 7 📌 0

Redville polar bears have dad bods

20.02.2026 07:12 — 👍 124 🔁 15 💬 3 📌 1

No. They're messed up.

20.02.2026 05:32 — 👍 6 🔁 1 💬 2 📌 0

We gave helium to a parrot to hear if it talked funny but it just squawked 'what the fuck?!' as it floated to the ceiling.

20.02.2026 05:16 — 👍 261 🔁 47 💬 4 📌 2

If you're visiting the rodent exhibit you should probably run. We don't have a rodent exhibit.

19.02.2026 03:56 — 👍 394 🔁 63 💬 8 📌 4

The lemur cannot grant wishes. Do not attempt to free the lemur.

18.02.2026 03:19 — 👍 196 🔁 26 💬 10 📌 1

Flamingos are terrible gamblers. The standing on one leg thing is a horrible tell.

18.02.2026 02:32 — 👍 131 🔁 12 💬 0 📌 0

That's creepy, dude, real creepy.

17.02.2026 02:21 — 👍 10 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0

To: All Staff
Subject: Ted Danson's Hair

Ted Danson's Cheers era hair will be on display in the mammal house through April and move to the aviary for nesting season.

17.02.2026 02:17 — 👍 256 🔁 36 💬 11 📌 2

Same thing really

16.02.2026 03:04 — 👍 11 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

The zoo's open regular hours during President's Day. Please stop by and consider donating to our ballroom.

16.02.2026 02:42 — 👍 227 🔁 27 💬 5 📌 1

NO

15.02.2026 21:23 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

The panther exhibit is temporarily closed. The screaming you hear is just the completely normal screaming that a panther handler does.

15.02.2026 21:20 — 👍 211 🔁 28 💬 6 📌 2

Tastes like chicken

15.02.2026 03:50 — 👍 3 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0

Happy Valentine's Day!

15.02.2026 02:54 — 👍 46 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0

Posts by Greeneville Zoo (@greenevillezoo.bsky.social)