Greeneville Zoo

Did you know? Four of our elephants are rescues from the game Jumanji.

❤️ [aardvark emoji]

❤️🦛

In a space-saving measure, we have traded our hippo, Lana, to the Toledo zoo for two aardvarks and a reptile to be named later.

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Sorry we tried to make a crocodile mate with an alligator. It was dark out.

Back to the drawing board on the "live animal merry-go-round."

You look different than you did then

Can you prove it

What our small-town zoo lacks compared to big city zoos, we more than make up for with the mecha-chickens and Wall of Fur.

Come see the new Ibex or Oryx or whatever, it's one of those two.

Whether the raccoons hold a grudge against you or not is beyond our control

Today's book signing for To Serve Man in the polar bear enclosure is NOT an official zoo event, and not covered by your regular admission.

How dare you

Good news. The bat is in rehab.
Bad news, it's in Redville.

But it has to be close?

Good on you!

adorable raccoon in a trash can.

Raccoons are showing early signs of domestication.

Urban raccoons are evolving a short snout, a telltale feature of pets & other domesticated animals, but scientists believe this is just a ploy to get closer to our trash.

This is Roy. We feed him but aren't falling for his bullshit act.

We are phasing out the terms “extant” and “extinct” from our exhibits and will now refer to species as either “Darwinners" or “Darlosers.”

Did you know that having jungle cats lick pedestrian walkways clean is not nearly as sanitary as hosing them down? Anyway, we’ve changed our policy.

When visiting our wolf, coyote, or jackal enclosures, keep in mind that the Greeneville Rule Book actually does say a dog can’t play basketball.

We’re launching an investigation into how our chimps were able to host an illegal poker game, who tipped off the FBI and where the money is buried.

Our breeding-program research reports that the animals’ reluctance to mate is often linked to people like you standing around watching.

During our last bird show a goose snatched a hairpiece. If you're missing a hairpiece, stop at Guest Services. If you can describe this hairpiece, you may reclaim your hairpiece.

People say wolves are intelligent, but a third of our staff was able to beat them in head-to-head Chutes and Ladders.

Our wolves don't have rabies. That's beard conditioner.

To all concerned callers: We agree that animals should be behind bars. But the Greeneville Zoo Streaker is now a matter for local authorities.

A gorilla in a food stained white tank top. He's smoking a cigarette, probably a Pall Mall.

"The next enclosure features the Western Lowlife Gorilla."
"You mean Western Lowland
Gorilla?"
"No."

Until the Season Pass automatic turnstile is repaired, please holler or bang on the gates.

Waiting to see one of our popular exhibits? Make sure you’re in line behind other humans, not our lemmings.