Benny Feldman 🪸🫧🐠

Live leak video of drunk Halo Spartan stumbling into grav lift

(Extremely disingenuous voice ) On October 7th,

I like that the bookstore has impulse buys like it's a gas station. Sudoku booklet, Percy Jackson day calendar, Warrior Cats bookmarks.

I literally once bought a miniature zen garden for my desk. You know, the classic impulse buy - a zen garden

What the hell were they smoking when they invented drinking songs

Now, I’m not so sure I would go around wringing snakes for their oil

To be fair to holistic medicine, if I didn’t know better, I would also try eating a tiger’s penis to see what happens.

Killed a tiger for it's penis. Don't worry though. I'm gonna do western medicine with it

Doing western medicine with a tiger penis

Do elephant poachers know they are helping to make a piano. They're doing it for the love of music

Second August class added

Just added Chicago

Hey man, it’s just a joke. Which, as we all know, is a form of speech in a vacuum, devoid of meaning

Cincinnati soon, just added Denver and San Francisco

It’s just a joke dude. It’s just an unironic metaphor about how your ethnicity is like bugs. It’s just an unironic hyperbole about how your ethnicity is always stinky. It’s just an ironic portrayal of your ethnicity as backwards idiots.

My work wife and I each gave each other a hall pass for one company board member we would be allowed to have lunch with, no questions asked

This is my work laptop . And this is my pleasure laptop

The microwave gives off harmful radiation . Yeah in the spectrum of visible light , an ugly vibe ruining beige

I love that the microwave rotates the food. Dance for me single cheesestick

Crazy the microwave has a setting for popcorn and not popcorn kernels. I’m almost never microwaving popcorn

I’ll tell a joke about like a worm eating an apple pie, and the replies will be like

“😂 Oh man as someone who has a masters degree in entomology and is a really good baker, and also I have my own apple orchard, and I have a special unique sense of humor, that joke really tickled me”

Hard cider? You mean a cold toddy

Worms, Beasts, Blood

Wireframe monkey mother throwing wireframe poop

There is a time in Pinocchio in which he is Half Puppet, Half Donkey. But a whale seems to think he is Fully Krill

Mulled apple juice

Hot toddy made with tequila that has the worm . Worm in your apple

If you eat the flesh of a pikachu, it actually does not shock you

Like poisonous versus venomous

Broken clock is better

Doctor says, “Go see the great clown, Pagliacci. Clowning is really having a moment right now and he’s playing with the form in fun ways. Last time I saw him, he did a bunch of crazy mixed media stuff with food and people’s phones. I heard he did a three month program in France.”

Hunger should never be a weapon of war. It should only ever be a gift of peace