Speaking as an Irish citizen living in Ireland, has anyone suggested this sort of plan to Keir Starmer though?
I feel like this would simply immediately Cease All Crime
Me when I see an Android phone
I can’t remember where I first saw this (just came across it again on instagram) but it’s been years now and it lives rent-free in my brain. Just include me please, I’m listening anyway and I Have Opinions
I didn’t come up with it!!! Wish I had though 😂
Your crotch goblin (child) is an acceptable crotch goblin
I have just read a description of children as ‘crotch goblins’ and I’m afraid if anyone needs me I have simply dissolved into the ether 💀
Me looking at the cheating Canadian curling team as if before a couple of days ago I could remember curling was even a sport
Right???
I just scribbled out the wrong date and restamped it and took my colleagues’ mocking like a champ as per 😎
Just physically print stamped a work document as having come in on the ‘61st February’ if anyone’s wondering how my day’s going
And yes, it’s possible to turn the little wheels on the date stamper to that, which in my mind makes it the stamper’s fault and not mine
Imagine using *this* as your launchpad for your ‘nuns are just smol beans 🥹’ thought piece
Have I told the story about how I woke up hungover and then was interviewed by the Gardai Organized Crime Bureau?
Actual LOL, although I have to say I’m usually the space thief, but on this occasion his thievery felt pointed - let me look at Take That in peace!!
Do you ever feel like you’re absolutely fighting for your life for your space in the bed? Jamie is ‘asleep’ right now but has just turned over ONTO me but as I type it’s occurred to me that I’m currently watching the Netflix Take That doc and he might actually just be trying to push me out of bed…
lmao we’ll be waiting there anxious to make even €5 back
Deal, I think I know someone in the market, and we’re looking for any price tbh
Paid our wedding venue deposit today, if anyone wants to give us a winning lottery ticket, or their house, or their firstborn child (which we will immediately sell) or anything
Lmao, see, true love!!
And yay!! Congratulations!!
My fiancé right now, with every *molecule* of his being
The Beckham-Peltz’s wedding photographer and videographer knowing they have the footage
Need you even ask
Boooo!!! Get biab or the dip ones, they don’t chip!! 🙏
[both lying in bed scrolling on our own phones when I suddenly hear-]
Jamie: nope.
Me: what?
Jamie: nope. I’m not getting yeeted into the sky attached to a lunatic tied to a glorified bandana
He was watching this over my shoulder
New Year New Nails 💅
Happy First Day Back At Work 2026 🫡
Of course if you’re in Ireland ‘Republican’ means something entirely different but I’m going to bed now
American social media users (usually) always assume everything revolves around America and everyone is always referring to America even though Matt used the small ‘r’ ‘republican’ and was not referring to Republican vs Democrat
Matt said ‘republican’ not ‘Republican’, the first (usually) referring to the elected democratic system of government headed by someone like a prime minister or president etc, whereas the second (usually) refers to a political party 1/2
