Aezandra 🐈‍⬛

Today is all about recognizing the beauty and charm of black cats while debunking the myths that often surround them… SHARE your mini panthers! 🖤🐈‍⬛

#NationalBlackCatDay #BlackCatsRock #BlackCats

Gotta love when sexual harassment remains unaddressed…
Your silence just shows us that you don’t care. I see you.
Can’t have safe places when they tolerate that. 🤷

#horror #memes

I wish I could show everyone the struggle of living on welfare and how the system purposely makes people stay poor. More people need to be exposed to how welfare works on a personal level. 😞

Pps: I *always* have a reason for feeling the way I do. I’m not crazy even though I over react. I will not accept statements that delude my sanity.

I want to build. Just like everyone else. I may seem normal but please don’t put me on a pedestal. I am just me.

Finally. I know I have issues and I don’t want to be reminded. I’m *constantly* reminded of my uniqueness and don’t need to be more othered than I do to myself already. I just want to be normal. That’s it. I’m not. But I just want to belong despite my flaws.

going on the previous point, I have an unusual memory where I remember things vividly quite often or will remember points that I feel a person points out to be important. Work, school, wherever. I remember things I do with people and their likes. Just a thing to mention that I’ve noticed

I am working on that because I know it is frustrating to work with.

I remember alot of the things said, possibly due to trauma. Sometimes I’m wrong. If I know something is wrong, I *automatically* feel a compulsion to self correct and get scared when my error is pointed out. I’m used to less gentle hands around.

Please, if we get to a misunderstanding, don’t take away my community. I have *severe* abandonment wounds.

I know that I’m complicated. I still believe in my mind that I am a piece of shit that doesn’t deserve anything but I keep trying to get past that. I’m traumatized, damaged goods. Working on changing that.

Not pointed to emotional management. It is always “You. Are. A. Monster.” And it comes across as “this is how you will be controlled.”

That instead of feeling them and working them out, I’ve been encouraged by previous important people throughout my life (of who I’ve regarded their opinions as gospel) to get high, drunk, eat, sleep, and other things but to an extreme.

You guys don’t necessarily know that I have had situations where my emotions weren’t ok to feel.

I also start at the deep end of an explanation and struggle to communicate the issue because my brain thinks I’m communicating clearly (to those who know me I am) but it contains way too many details in-order to get to the root. I’m working on that.

I am not used to people acting on good intentions and have had a lot of malice used against me in my life. My mind automatically will jump to defend me. I’m working on it but that is a tender area.

Talk to me if you want to be a helper for pointing out my circling. (Some people that I trust have my permission to say it already because I have been hard at work). Without my consent, if you do that then I will not be ok.

One thing that may have come with my trauma is the compulsion to over explain myself out of fear of being misunderstood. (Eg. what I am doing). Recently, I have felt a near constant impulse to keep over explaining. I’m working on it and have identified my triggered state as a state of “circling.”

I’ve been learning lots. Some of it is just building on past knowledge. I’m thankful for those close to me. I know I’m traumatized so it makes it hard but I am thankful to be learning to be myself and how things can be ok for me.

Had a night terror last night but I’m working on reframing my day..
I have some thoughts I feel are important to speak.

This is a mom and pop business even!!!!

You get one warning in a message. I’m done with being pulled back in when my only ask is to be left alone.

I will not be in a club (referring to administration) that ignores vulnerable people (like me) and problems brought to the table (harassment). It is not safe for me any more. I am going to put my boundaries up.

I am not going to try to reason with people (administration) who will not listen or hear me. I will not be in a group where the leader won’t prevent this kind of behavior.

For my own protection. All conversations about MES/larp and any Colorado nerd stuff/inclusion stops. I will give people one warning before I unfriend. This is my boundary.

Reposting for many of you:

#horror #memes

Can’t wait to be in his space tomorrow. A place he created to give a voice to so many folks who are marginalized but have stories that need to be told, just like my friend St*rmy