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DaddyJew

@daddyjew.bsky.social

Bangers https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:nhz43btfuzkkgj2hwvhvc2jr/feed/aaal2ybjpxkkq Fresh Tots https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:nhz43btfuzkkgj2hwvhvc2jr/feed/aaajknw6kxutk

11,595 Followers  |  737 Following  |  5,451 Posts  |  Joined: 16.11.2024
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Posts by DaddyJew (@daddyjew.bsky.social)

Oh she's pissed..florist advertisement

03.03.2026 07:03 β€” πŸ‘ 44    πŸ” 19    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

[3:12 am]

brain: hey wake up let's think about everything

me: what do you mean by everyth-

brain: I SAID EVERYTHING

03.03.2026 11:59 β€” πŸ‘ 121    πŸ” 31    πŸ’¬ 4    πŸ“Œ 0

Steinbeck: What did you think of my draft of π˜–π˜§ π˜”π˜°π˜Άπ˜΄π˜¦ 𝘒𝘯π˜₯ π˜”π˜’π˜―?

Publisher: It needs more characters.

Steinbeck: I'll see what I can do.

03.03.2026 13:35 β€” πŸ‘ 221    πŸ” 45    πŸ’¬ 9    πŸ“Œ 1

A vibrator that will also cook me breakfast. Is this anything?

03.03.2026 14:59 β€” πŸ‘ 56    πŸ” 6    πŸ’¬ 16    πŸ“Œ 0

Kids got me a t-shirt that says, β€œProbably One of the Top 25 Dads in the Neighborhood.”

26.12.2025 01:25 β€” πŸ‘ 148    πŸ” 22    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 1

anyone up for a naked hula hooping contest

03.03.2026 13:00 β€” πŸ‘ 93    πŸ” 22    πŸ’¬ 21    πŸ“Œ 0

reflecting on child abuse as an adult is so weird, to realize your parents never had a beef with you but took it out on you nevertheless

03.03.2026 04:47 β€” πŸ‘ 231    πŸ” 50    πŸ’¬ 24    πŸ“Œ 2

Fascinating what you all say you won't do and how quickly that shit flies out the window once a Klondike bar is mentioned.

02.03.2026 19:55 β€” πŸ‘ 66    πŸ” 27    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 1

*rage colors a picture of a rainbow and flowers then crumples it up and nicely hands it to you

03.03.2026 12:50 β€” πŸ‘ 72    πŸ” 24    πŸ’¬ 7    πŸ“Œ 0

Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because I’m always right.

01.03.2026 23:46 β€” πŸ‘ 133    πŸ” 26    πŸ’¬ 15    πŸ“Œ 1

I know this isn't the time for jokes, but also it is precisely the time for jokes

03.03.2026 05:31 β€” πŸ‘ 99    πŸ” 28    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 0

raising an intelligent kid while you’re a whole other level of dumbass is a big flex

03.03.2026 08:30 β€” πŸ‘ 25    πŸ” 5    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

all of my besties are strangers on the internet

03.03.2026 07:58 β€” πŸ‘ 52    πŸ” 21    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Me: good night moon

Blood moon: bring me blood

Me: go to sleep moon

03.03.2026 07:46 β€” πŸ‘ 39    πŸ” 8    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Things are bad here, I nearly read someone’s poem.

03.03.2026 07:36 β€” πŸ‘ 69    πŸ” 18    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 0

Oh to be a lizard basking on a hot rock 🐊

03.03.2026 00:56 β€” πŸ‘ 151    πŸ” 30    πŸ’¬ 9    πŸ“Œ 0

I have nothing in common with people who wake up early and go running

16.01.2025 18:20 β€” πŸ‘ 114    πŸ” 32    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 1

cramming for this eye exam looking at every fucking thing I can

03.03.2026 00:17 β€” πŸ‘ 259    πŸ” 83    πŸ’¬ 9    πŸ“Œ 2

how many sacrifices are we allowed each blood moon again?

03.03.2026 02:53 β€” πŸ‘ 46    πŸ” 19    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

if you love something kill it. kill it now before it ever gets a chance to hurt you

03.03.2026 02:27 β€” πŸ‘ 39    πŸ” 17    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

why is everyone always trying to kill me??

- the lights

03.03.2026 02:21 β€” πŸ‘ 28    πŸ” 13    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

I’m starting my daylight saving time rage a week early so I’m properly prepared.

03.03.2026 00:55 β€” πŸ‘ 126    πŸ” 32    πŸ’¬ 6    πŸ“Œ 0

*cooks a pasta dish while simultaneously looking at a recipe for another pasta dish to make in the future

03.03.2026 01:41 β€” πŸ‘ 26    πŸ” 7    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

*picks up How To Read For Dummies*

*sniffs it*

*puts it back down*

29.04.2025 21:35 β€” πŸ‘ 119    πŸ” 39    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

*Googles how to be an adult*

oh wow, that's a lot of reading

*goes back to watching cartoons*

24.10.2025 20:25 β€” πŸ‘ 146    πŸ” 50    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

If I were a PokΓ©mon, I'd definitely be Squirtle.

02.03.2026 13:20 β€” πŸ‘ 49    πŸ” 14    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 0

Send ICE agents to Iran. They already have the outfits.

02.03.2026 15:50 β€” πŸ‘ 7457    πŸ” 1512    πŸ’¬ 334    πŸ“Œ 91

Still no discernible brains of this operation

02.03.2026 21:22 β€” πŸ‘ 10    πŸ” 3    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

she is beauty, she is grace, she is an open parking space

11.07.2025 21:08 β€” πŸ‘ 169    πŸ” 48    πŸ’¬ 4    πŸ“Œ 0