Stevevsninjas

Don't u hate it when all your Satanic friends become yoga instructors

Maybe @adambroud.bsky.social doesn't remember this one, but I do

Same tweets for me, so good.
I'll try to find some.

Seeing the panther paw slam the buttons made me lol for real

forwearemany.wordpress.com/wp-content/u...
Read this in Omni Magazine back in the day

77 if you feel lucky, punk

The funny thing about rfk is that when he dies it will probably be impossible to tell whether it was murder, given how much weird shit the guy is up to.

They'll be like "we found an absolute ton of arsenic in his blood, but also he was taking arsenic pills"

Yabba Dabba Do Not Resucitate

Shattered skylight? How's your rappelling?

smugly posting to cow LinkedIn that I got accepted into one of the Temple Grandin slaughterhouses with the curved chute and high walls

Obviously you are a mere white belt in the underground martial art Carate. (Carrotay?)

We regret to inform you the calculator is racist

But would you ask if I paved the White House posies?

Would you ask if I deported Rosie?

Release the Epstein files!

Would you ask me that if I was...[45 minutes of near-death wheezing] on a roof?

Really enjoying this year's song of the summer (ocean waves throwing a ship against the rocks, shattering wood, the cries of doomed men)

Ever since I saw the movie Jaws I’ve been terrified of going into the ocean with a canister of compressed air in my mouth.

[wife wanting to discuss my mid life crisis] brent
[me with my graffiti buddies] actually it’s Sprayz now

*me at a meeting of the knights of the round table* ugh this could’ve been a scroll

the cube from Cube would kick the sphere from Sphere's ass

shitler don’t like his golf nickname 🤡

Asshole-in-one ?

Could everyone hoping against hope please stop? It’s very counterproductive

bad guy, from the bottom of an open grave: omg, what are you doing?
statham, scooping a shovel of dirt: giving you complete coverage, mate

The interview was going great until my puppet started screaming

Jason Statham returns in... The T-Mobile Kiosk Guy

People think a post is “successful” if it gets a lot of likes but personally I think a post is successful if it reaches just one person and absolutely ruins their day

bringing a t-shirt cannon to the gun range and firing a shirt perfectly onto the target dummy

"guys" and, in some cases, "dolls"

tricking children into reading The Classics by writing "TOLSTOY" in the Toy Story font

my man rockin it as per usual

Narratively speaking, the tightest ending to this screenplay is probably the freed J6 protestors storming the White House to demand the release of the Epstein files.