Bart Harley Jarvis

One of the things I am most scared of is people thinking I am a bad tipper, so I make sure that can never happen.

Oh yeah she hates it. You aren’t winning this battle lol.

She found them!!!

I just heard, “oh my god Jesus!!!!,” from her room.

He went to the same high school as my cousin who plays for the Broncos (he was a few years ahead). I always cheered for him until I learned about him and yeah, fuck him.

This is payback for leaving her goddamn fake eye lashes on the table next to my bed. I simultaneously love and hate having a teenage daughter.

Here they are. I think I have six in there hidden somewhere. It’s been more than a week and she seriously hasn’t noticed them. My kid is so aloof lol.

Proud to be the one to show this to her! We need to watch it again.

Scott’s Tots.

I can’t think about if Jesus sees me doing butt stuff when THERE’S A GODDAMN CHEETO IN THE WHITE HOUSE!

My wife just slipped a hint to my kid that I have been hiding tiny Jesus’s in her room for a week and I’m too lazy to go back and find the post I first did about it, but I might get found out tonight. Luckily my kid is super lazy and refuses to go to her room to look right now lol.

Okay, but I would as well and that’s why I respect KD.

We were just watching the new episode and I was like dude stf up about soccer.

If anyone ever does this to me I am handing the phone to my wife and letting her do whatever the hell she feels like and it will be hilarious lol.

Her @ is @probablyinbed.bsky.social, you should follow her.

lol who gives a shit about follows? Fucking nerds.

All his work is so good!

Democrats need to get this talking point out of their heads. Mass murder and war crimes are not a distraction. There are very real lives being destroyed in Iran right now, and the United States is to blame.

The brainrot "it's a distraction" takes have GOT to go away. Nobody needs to distract from them because nobody is going to do anything about them. Some chud tried to kill Trump over them, which means he understands more about the current US government than the shitlibs do.

It’s March 5, 2026. Is a pedophile still president of the United States?

Yes.

I turned it off and switched on Adventure Time. Life’s too short to willingly watch awful shit.

This is literally one of the worst things I have ever seen in my life.

Oooh Donal Logue is here as a weird and gruff chief of police and is in over his head.

A zombie just attacked Jill and said, “itchy tasty.” I’m not a bit canon guy, but the zombies in RE don’t talk.

None of the things these characters say makes any sense. Chris hears a siren and is like “I have get to the station” and hands Jill something and says here, “lockpick the door when you leave.” Like what??? Also they are saying to stay in your home; why are you making her leave?

It’s basically impossible to get elected to any office in this country if you are openly an atheist, but sure let’s argue over which religious democrat is more electable because of their religion. Great fucking country.

Agreed. This new one is just awful in the not decently made way.

I can’t believe they got the shitty Amell brother to play Chris Redfield lol.

Claire just walked into an empty apartment and took a bite out of a random piece of pizza for no reason. Was this written by AI?

Oooh we’ve got zombie dogs already, but this is the truck driver’s (from RE2) dog. Plot twist. Claire is now in Raccoon City as this movie is apparently the plots of 1-3 in one dumbass movie.

Leon, Jill, Wesker, and Chris all in a diner together and the waitresses eyeball starts bleeding and she cooly says, “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Watched the 2021 Resident Evil reboot and my god this sucks shit and is an awful form of fan service. It’s worse than superhero movie with that shit.