James :3

The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine that Sisyphus is happy.

Being a lawyer nerfed you so hard :/

Just made a paper shopping list for the grocery store and I felt my first gray hair come in.

Reads like a journal entry from a lighthouse keeper on the brink of madness.

All these WEAK couples out there probably don’t even have a go-to phrase to immediately convince your partner that you’re stuck in a time loop and need their help.

Elon makes an AI chat bot to be fact oriented.

The bot becomes a liberal.

Elon edits the bot for months to make it more conservative.

The bot stays liberal.

Elon gives up and reworks the bot to just agree with conservatives.

The bot becomes Hitler.

You really can’t make this shit up.

Getting clocked by everyone I walk past in Vegas as a magic the gathering player

Man I really wish these Deltarune bosses were harder.

*second finger on the monkeys paw curls down*

I really have to respect the way that Butterscotch ragebaits me. Like father like son.

Every day in June that I can’t find parking in the Castro, I will become slightly more homophobic.

Mmmm stew…

cat head spinning

check this out

What’s the opposite of a Pyrrhic victory. Pyrrhic defeat?

I don’t care the context. I don’t care how acquainted we are. If “rawdog” fits in the sentence, I’m gonna use it.

Kinda crazy that in the year of our lord 2025, Venmo still lets you stalk the payment history of everyone in your contacts.

Questions you don’t want to hear from your dad:

“Who is Kasane Teto?”

“You know this is fake, right?”

Yes, but I have a whimsy and joy in my heart that can never be dimmed.

My conversation style is like I’m in a JRPG where I keep accidentally choosing the same dialogue option over and over again when I meant to hit the back button.

Whenever I need to walk even a moderately short distance, I will jog. I am a deeply unserious person.

She WILL be hearing from me tonight. The royal she.

Is there anything more humiliating than not finding a parking spot

DUBBED anime 😈

Bashing a jolly rancher with a stapler to crush it up because I will NOT let them get the better of me again.

The children YEARN for efficient market systems

On my sentencing day during the AI apocalypse, I hope the AI judge shows me a supercut of every time I’ve bullied a Waymo before executing me.

“Accidentally”

Starting to understand why Eve bit that apple

Having a bug zapper has taught me that I would not be a benevolent god.