Tommy 3pac

how am I supposed to act civilized during flight safety instructions when they keep saying "inflate"

theres an older driver at my job that occasionally slips me Peets gift cards for helping him with issues. like, im literally just doing my job.
If I live to be old I look forward to slipping young folx little gifts, simply for existing lmao. the cycle continues.
im not allowed to have favorites but

need a massive funding campaign to cover me in tattoos. its a noble cause, pls donate

for sure, this has been my experience with them so far.

I've been wrong about a lot of things in my life. Like Nickelback, sauerkraut, and the US military (bad)

I think furries are brave tbh.
Reformed furry hater turned furry defender here

I cannot identify types of squash, and I dont need to. They're all amazing

I've yet to come across a squash I didn't like

gotta pump em wayyy up

rookie numbers

about to locally run as a c0mmun1st politician just to start some drama

🎶let's give em something to talk abouut🎶

you can really learn a lot about someone by opening and reading their mail

bombardilo crocodilo

you could easily serve either role, you deserve it.

he didn't even finish it. what a legend.

bro lit a cigarette with a comically large blowtorch at the bus stop

there goes my hero

mustaches are reserved for sluts and golden retrievers. no in betweens allowed

okay am I crazy or is middle shelf whiskey way better than top??

like bulleit over Macallan 12 all day

I cannot continue to be a gamer AND a musician
I need to pick a struggle

Reverse cowgirl so I can watch the stock market plunge

glory to the new global empire in the east

I think the "MAGA communists" were right all along. He's secretly an anti capitalist, Maoist third worldist, and he's gonna tear it all down to rebuild new from the ashes as we all sing red sun in the sky in unison. to which I say, hell yeah 😎

I mean I literally rewatch Lost just for Sayid at this point tbh

losing my shit

I think I need to rewatch the entirety of Lost again for literally the 6th time

AYYY YO WHENS THIS SHIT GET EASIER HAHA 🤪🤪🤪

love getting a notification on my phone saying "remember this from 8 years ago?" and it's a photo of a work schedule

dude I couldn't even remember it at the time

idk what to do!? what do I even put as my bio??

ridged for ur pleasure

my boss just told me that I sneezed at the exact same time today as I did yesterday

are you in love w me or what?