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Machine Pun Kelly

@kellyscaletta.bsky.social

America's Number One Punned-It. Lifelong Dem. Left my account on Twitter for Bluer Skies. I follow back, but sometimes it takes time. YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KellyScaletta Check out my Whiteboard videos and the Pun Show!

172,893 Followers  |  70,909 Following  |  10,722 Posts  |  Joined: 23.08.2023  |  0.0039

Latest posts by kellyscaletta.bsky.social on Bluesky

Yeah, he's a Christian. He was saying that a repudiation of Republican politics.

23.07.2025 14:05 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 0    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

"Imagine how different the world would be if all Christians actually loved their enemies the way the Bible says?"

--James Talarico

23.07.2025 13:57 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 755    ๐Ÿ” 153    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 45    ๐Ÿ“Œ 7

Because he has tiny balls no spine?

23.07.2025 13:55 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 77    ๐Ÿ” 2    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 4    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Worth mentioning it's not just going to hit the people who are on ACA.

23.07.2025 13:55 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 76    ๐Ÿ” 3    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I put mine in while I'm letting the pizza preheat and then leave it in there for at least 15 minutes after so it's hot all the way through. That way it doesn't cool off when I take it out to flip the bread.

23.07.2025 03:09 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Barack Obama needs to start suing some people into fucking poverty.

23.07.2025 03:08 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 628    ๐Ÿ” 77    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 19    ๐Ÿ“Œ 4

But at least 10 million people won't have healthcare anymore.

22.07.2025 23:43 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Key is baking it on pizza stone.

22.07.2025 23:03 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

So easy. Even with dry chickpeas if you have a pressure cooker. Took me like 5 minutes of not-hard labor. LOL

22.07.2025 23:02 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 2    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Homemade hummus is the best hummus. Especially with homemade pita bread.

22.07.2025 22:55 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 104    ๐Ÿ” 1    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 8    ๐Ÿ“Œ 1

So he's being charged with getting extorted?

22.07.2025 21:43 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Preview
Pardon Tracker: Pardoned Capitol Rioters Continue to Face Legal Consequences Several Capitol Rioters that were pardoned by President Donald Trump continue to face legal consequences for additional crimes โ€” related and unrelated to their participation in the Capitol Riot.

NEW Pardon Tracker Dispatch: At least 20 pardoned Capitol Rioters have been arrested or faced additional criminal charges since receiving pardons from Donald Trump, or have faced additional legal consequences for their actions after participating in the attack on the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021.

22.07.2025 21:01 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 256    ๐Ÿ” 112    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 6    ๐Ÿ“Œ 4

"I am my own grandpa."

22.07.2025 21:09 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Y'all wanna laugh at Mike Johnson for comparing himself to Moses.

Moses only parted the Red Sea.

Johnson departed the Red staters who don't wanna see.

22.07.2025 20:34 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 228    ๐Ÿ” 37    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 8    ๐Ÿ“Œ 1

Back to ambulance chasing. Too bad. So sad.

22.07.2025 20:30 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 106    ๐Ÿ” 12    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 15    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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As a person with Autism I follow my
own path itโ€™s not an easy one but Iโ€™m proud
of myself and all I have achieved and I will
go on to achieve Autism is part of me itโ€™s
an integral part of who I am people like
myself can play a valuable role in society.

22.07.2025 20:10 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 169    ๐Ÿ” 8    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 10    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Why are Republicans covering for Bill Clinton?

22.07.2025 19:40 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 184    ๐Ÿ” 29    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 23    ๐Ÿ“Œ 4
Video thumbnail

WATCH โ€” @krystalball.bsky.social : โ€œImagine what would be said if it was Bill Clinton who threw a party for 16 year-old girls and invited only Jeffrey Epstein.โ€

Full: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQJK...

22.07.2025 18:41 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 5004    ๐Ÿ” 1858    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 130    ๐Ÿ“Œ 65
Preview
Ozzy Osbourne, โ€˜Prince of Darknessโ€™ Turned Reality TV Star, Dies at 76

Ozzy Osbourne, โ€˜Prince of Darknessโ€™ Turned Reality TV Star, Dies at 76 www.nytimes.com/2025/07/22/a...

22.07.2025 18:44 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 26    ๐Ÿ” 3    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 2

Yes.

22.07.2025 18:57 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 3    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I think the reason the Ozzy news hits me so hard is that as someone whose formative years were in the 80s, about 30% of my internal soundtrack is Ozzy, 30% is David Bowie and 30% is Freddy Mercury and now it feels my teen years are basically dead.

22.07.2025 18:51 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 298    ๐Ÿ” 10    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 28    ๐Ÿ“Œ 2

The Grim Reaper needs better aim.

22.07.2025 18:50 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 469    ๐Ÿ” 45    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 23    ๐Ÿ“Œ 4

There aren't many voices as distinctive as Ozzy Osbourne's was, with as rich a catalog and unique a life. He was truly a legend a talent.

Guess 2025 was too much for him, so he had to jump off this Crazy Train.

#RIPOzzy Thanks for your gifts.

22.07.2025 18:47 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 262    ๐Ÿ” 31    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 14    ๐Ÿ“Œ 1

That's assuming all events are equally possible, which is not true.

22.07.2025 18:29 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 2    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I used to feel ashamed of being different.
Now I see my #Autism as my strength. Iโ€™ve
faced loss bullying and doubt but Iโ€™ve also
found connection purpose and pride. Iโ€™m
not broken. Iโ€™m becoming the best version
of me. And Iโ€™m proud of how far Iโ€™ve come.

22.07.2025 17:35 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 172    ๐Ÿ” 11    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 5    ๐Ÿ“Œ 1

Not that improbable, actually.

22.07.2025 15:26 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 3    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Yeah, you might want to read the article. I address that concern. Voting machines are air locked and impossible to hack from the Internet.

22.07.2025 15:25 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Did you read the article? I talked about why I don't think Rockland is an issue. Biden didn't get any votes there, either.

22.07.2025 15:23 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 3    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Sexist and stupid aren't mutually exclusive, and you're not allowing for the racists.

22.07.2025 12:21 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 3    ๐Ÿ” 1    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I get some people are glossing over the actual intent of the article, and I agree that it was "legally" stolen, but that's also why we need to counter the narrative that it was stolen by altering the actual vote count--because that detracts from the real theft.

22.07.2025 12:07 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 32    ๐Ÿ” 2    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 6    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

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