Emily the knitter

White People’s Performative Ignorance Is Exhausting—Opinion Disbelief over authoritarianism in America isn’t a cutesy personality trait. It’s a confession: You haven’t been paying attention.

"Black people are tired. Not metaphorically tired—actually tired. The kind of tired that turns every group chat into a mix of gallows humor and emotional triage."

I write about white ignorance and how exhausting it is to hear white ppl insist "this isn't who we are, when it's ALWAYS who we've been.

Visited MizC in her dorm room last week to celebrate her 19th (!) birthday. Woke up this morning with The Crud that’s been going around among her and her roommates. Guh. 🤧

I don’t think we can ever forgive the people who turned every sphere of human expression, art, news, analysis, literature, communication into content whose value is only that it can be counted and tracked

As long as white people are afraid to be uncomfortable & cling to comfort others can't afford at all costs, we're going to stay twiddling our thumbs & scratching our heads about why this American-bred fascism isn't budging.

I showed this to MizC and you should have seen the look on her face. I told her, “This is the most Steve thing ever.”

I recently learned about autistic inertia and it explains so much.

We heard a bit of it earlier when we visited the kid at Trent (she turned 19 this week, but doesn’t seem the least bit interested in the shenanigans).

I think what’s most frustrating right now for Black and Indigneous people is waiting for the bulk of white folks to catch up.

At some point the “this isn’t who we are” and “I didn’t have this on my bingo card” has to end and y’all will catch up, right? RIGHT?

WE NEED YOU TO CATCH UP.

Abolish ICE and prosecute the shit out of everyone who works for them

heartbroken for Manchester and for my Jewish friends around the world whose holy days have been poisoned by this violence. gathering with your community of faith should never be a thing you do under fear of your life. holding all of you in my heart right now with such deep love and grief

Leonard (who is not a lap cat) has climbed onto my lap and lain down, and people just arrived downstairs wanting me to go see them. Dilemma!

a flow-chart with 2 islands. "Do I need AI?" that flows into a final island saying "No"

So I'm doing production knitting again, this time for a stage show. The main character knits a 12-foot scarf in Morse code. On her behalf, I, being me, have the script open in one window and a Morse code translator in another, to make knit and purl stitches accordingly. 💀💀💀

❤️‍🩹

It's funny to me that my brain decided I needed to hear it on Yom Kippur.

I told a friend who is a death doula about where I am right now, and she remarked on how much grief must be involved. "You're in the woods," she said. I very much am at the moment, and the only way out is through.

Yeah I'm sensitive. No I can't just "toughen up" or grow a thicker skin. Yeah if I trust you and you reject me I will hurt about it for decades (especially if you're not kind enough to explain why and give me a chance to change my behaviour. Sometimes I literally cannot read the room without help.)+

Yeah, they're intense. Yeah I carry so much grief for so many people and places that sometimes an unexpected reminder makes me cry on the spot. One way I'm trying to navigate this weird limbo as I rethink my entire existence is to give myself grace. I feel what I feel when I feel it. No more shame.+

I was on SSRIs on and off for 20+ years. Since I realized I'm almost certainly autistic with ADHD, and since both conditions are often misdiagnosed as depression and anxiety, I've weaned off the meds and I've just been sitting with my emotions now that I can understand them so differently. +

Last night I decided to listen to Leonard Bernstein's Chichester Psalms, which we sang in high school (we had a *really* good chorus director). I still remember a lot of the words 40 years later. By the end of the third movement I was crying, it's so beautiful.

Black people actually did call all of this, so did Indigenous people. White people just thought we were exaggerating because you were fine with the violence toward communities that you thought wouldn't include you. But the thru line from eugenics, bleach, and Ivermectin to here was incredibly clear

In Toronto, briefly. Dentist today (I bit through my night guard), doctor tomorrow. Asking for a referral to an orthopaedic surgeon to see what can be done about the loss of range in my elbow. Also asking about paths forward with AuDHD. No formal diagnosis (yet?) but it explains so much about me.

Great news!
JSTOR now have a free account with an Independent Researcher category. You can access 100 documents per month

www.jstor.org/action/showL...

We need a bigger tent, that’s why we must betray and expel the following types of people:

We would watch it in the dorm common rooms at Wellesley.

Thirty-eight years. Wow.

Our drive is less than ten minutes, but then ours is a much smaller island. Safe travels!

How long is the ride? Our usual ferry ride is about 15-20 minutes (faster when the new boat is running). When I’m at the house I always know when the boat is in, because at least five cars go past in a row. Usually right before the hour.

Yay!!! Congratulations!!!!! 🎊

I’M TAKING A RIDE WITH MY BEST FRIEND
I HOPE HE NEVER LETS ME DOWN AGAIN

Desert island album for me. So many memories.