John Chmura

💯

Would you consider the second line without as and is?

Those that never stop bleeding. The normalization of trauma. 😢

Thank you, Paul, for noticing the layers and connections!

Thank you so much, Dean, and for recognizing the power of three!

Thank you!

This is an awesome interview. It’s a rare talent to be able to write well for both younger and older audiences. I get the idea that a big part of it is treating children with respect.

Thank you for sharing that! The music is beautifully haunting. I go through periods where I listen to similar music, but probably a little more folky, like The Moon and The Nightspirit, Faun, Trobar de Morte, Corde Oblique, Wardruna. I can’t understand the lyrics but it’s good to read to. Thanks!!!

Thank you!

Fantastic! Who is the song by?

It’s definitely easier to tear down than to build…sadly.

Thank you!

Thank you for that update, and for your important poem!

Now it all makes sense! Yeah, I love that, accidental or planned!

I’m not a Larkin expert, having only read a couple of the standards back in English Lit. But I did learn something new looking up Maeve Brennan:

Don’t call it a clunker because I need an access point. Like I’m picturing a vampire couple hanging out in the living room, no pun intended. But of course I am probably off base. That’s why I hate being first. The last stanza is brilliant in its own right.

The rhymes and near rhymes give this piece a lot of punch and flavor.

What a great double use of factors in that title, Dean. How personal blood has become. Good reflective lines here.

Paul, I admire a true sonneteer who, like you is not a slave to the line, but is able to rhyme mid-sentence and carry the argument/narrative across. It’s really something how you have woven the characters into this piece.

Yes, villanelle is a wonderful form for indignation and protest! Resist!

Why no comments here after four hours? After some of my debacles last week, I’m hesitant to be a first responder. I love everything about the sound and the pace of this poem from the standpoint of craft. But I need someone to parse it. Am I so naive? What am I missing?

Needle sharp insults and actual bloodletting. All hell has certainly broken loose here.

I really the interplay of phrases between the two stanzas.

I like everything about this from the title on down. I especially like way the metaphor unfolds in the second stanza.

I am looking at the repetition. Is this written to a form?

😱 😂

Yeah, we probably can’t really translate outside of our experience, empathetic as we try to be.

Ouch, great title, great follow through…

Yeah, there is nothing amateur here. The narrative voice is as compelling as the imagery.

I think you are right!