Foxykins.eml

Do you remember the first guy who treated you like trash? Not the middle school boy who was just confused and prepubescent but the first one to condescend and dislike you, but made it clear they didn’t want to break up either?

Omg there are middle management who didn’t go to the circus every year in their midsized city

Imagine waking up and telling your perfectly healthy kid “now pick the four pieces of candy and then we are going to the dentist to see the Switch Witch!”

Criminal.

Imagine having to poop so bad you are willing to wait in line at the BART bathroom…

When I was 23 I got my own apartment and I posted about how much I loved it. I pointed out the darling parquet floors.

This former classmate DM’d me that they weren’t real parquet. Her grandmother had real parquet floors in Bulgaria.

I quietly celebrate when her LinkedIn says “Open to Work.”

Between you and me yeah I want to have two IPA’s and three slices of pizza in a warm bar in Cleveland sometimes when I’m feeling very lost and sad and I do think that is how ex junkies feel about their darkest moments ok?!

I can’t go back and I can’t romanticize it but I can’t deny the urge!

Every time I see What Not To Wear I remember how god awful clothes were in Y2K. I abstained from fashion for like 10 years and wore only classic cut pencil skirts, simple jeans and loafers and button down shirts or white tee shirts until things settled down.
There’s a lesson there.

A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.

Nothing like the horniness of a 5’6 dude for a 5’7.5 woman when they both do yoga and like silver jewelry.

If you are expecting a new baby and your next oldest is 4+ years old, you can have a baby shower. I give you that permission.

Just saw a post of a tshirt that read "A coward friend is as good as an enemy" and I need y'all to marintate in that. Maybe write it on your bathroom mirror. At minimum admit if you're the coward in your connections.

There are saying he is to the RIGHT of Kirk? How much more right is left before you fall off the edge of the flat earth 😅

It is wild to say that the events yesterday were the most violent live footage ever seen by Americans

ON SEPTEMBER 11

😭😭😭😭😭

interesting what gets called “political violence”

Elon Musk killing millions with the stroke of a pen by wiping out USAID? Well, his guy won an election

Charlie Kirk spends the better part of a decade cultivating hatred/feeding right wing conspiracy theorists red meat, then gets got? Condemn

Love how folks are preemptively blaming the Left for the violence the fascists were already going to inflict regardless. "Things will only get worse because you celebrated." Don't fall for that stinky bullshit

We are just assuming this was perpetrated by the left?

Ugh summer of 2001 I spend every single night on this website. And talking to some guy with the AIM handle “StrongBad.” He was literally just some guy unaffiliated with HSR but he tried to act as a chat bot. I was so relentless he gave up and asked why I wasn’t out with friends.

A medium sized dog with an underbite and pinned back ears cheeses into the camera with the most beautiful girl in the world.

Sooo the kids brought the dog quietly into the minivan this morning. I drove everyone to their respective drop offs and then myself to the train. I compulsively looked in the back of the car to be sure nothing was visible and Twiggy was just staring at me.

That’s why my dog was on the BART today.

I paused

“Because I think you like me more.” She said.

Nicki was well off, had married parents and a brother who played with her all the time.

My parents were divorced and my brother barely acknowledged me.

I dropped her matte and never spoke to her again - ever.

In third grade Hebrew school this chick, Nicki Goldstein, had a matte in her hair. I always liked her a lot and wanted to be friends, so I gently asked if I could play with her hair. I started to softly undo the matte - which had been there for weeks.

She said “who do you think likes who more?”

a woman is riding a skateboard wearing pink high heels . ALT: a woman is riding a skateboard wearing pink high heels .

When they said “be nice to nerds they will be your boss one day,” like yeah for sure. But also, that seems hard. I’d rather have someone sweat over what I’m doing than the other way around.

Take that, nerds. Here’s what I’m up to when you check in on Slack.

I hear all Phillip Marlow stories in the voice of H Jon Benjamin

Somewhere in Ohio there is a guy who is saying

“Well there was Woodstock 99, then I was a mortgage broker and then there was January 6”

A homeless lady spit in my face.

I’m on two anti depressants so I really took it in stride!

Tattoo advice Reddit has such unrealistically high standards. Like chill, the point of a tattoo is that it’s low key reckless. Why do we insist on them also being flawless?

Re: Coldplay, Billy Joel would NEVER.

He once stopped mid-“Sometimes a Fantasy” to scream at the lighting crew for exposing his Soviet audience to the KGB.

Then he kicked over his piano. For privacy.

Dancing in the dark is a human right.

Billy came to rock, not dox.

My Letterbox account follows my cannabis usage point for point

The doctor said the tick would have to be on me for over 24 hours for a significant risk, and she didn’t think it looked like Lyme 🙃 still fun a way to start the morning

This is my price for spending every summer living in the mountains and woods 😭

I have a lot of positive things going on in my life right now but waking up to this tick crawling across my sheets and this bite on my hip is not one of them.