Alfhilde

This pain flare up sucks, i feel very doomer. I realized i always wear the same two pants because i cant wear pants that press on my stomach. I just wanna be able to wear what i want and feel good 😥

Everyday i have to eat and its annoying

Being hypermobile is crazy because what do you mean i slept sideways a week ago and i still have a swollen shoulder because of it

i exist

Feeling better and better. I think the symptoms i experienced earlier were some sort of acute stress symptom. But it will probably take months to recover. For now, ill stream when i can and just rest a lot. I already feel happier and im smiling a lot more.

Having a massive vet bill and then finding money i had forgotten about is my personal christmas miracle i think.

If you managed to get through things when you were struggling. Imagine what you can do when you feel good again! ❤️

Had to get a space heater because its the 3rd of december and my heating is not on. In sweden. I reported it but last time it took them like three months to fix my ventilation so 🤡

Set up my new desk today and im already sitting comfier, it feels great!

Favorite ps2 games? ❤️

Its not the answer i wanted i wish it was something simpler. But at least now i have a pain management plan and should be able to not be bedbound when i have these flare ups and get more of my life back.

Its been rough. Ive taken naproxen and paracetamol like its candy just to get by during flare ups. It feels nice to maybe have an answer. This can also explain why im so tired all the time. Combined with the other stuff.

I went to an evaluation today and the doctor was so nice. Apperantly i might have endometriosis on top of everything else going on. And it might be on my intenstines. Which explains my super painful cramp attacks ive been dealing with behind the scenes for months.

I have a lot of emotions to go through and need to approach streaming and work in a completely different way than before for it to be sustainable for me in the long run and its not easy.

Fixing my room a bit and getting a new desk thats more ergonomic and trying to make it as cozy as possible. Thinking of going back to my old routine of streaming 3 days a week as well.

Feel like im crawling through every single day like a bug.

Boiled veggies with sesame oil or olive oil and salt are god tier

A lot of autistic people eat nuggets and fried food when they are overstimulated but i turn into a hamster. I want boiled vegetables and plant protein. Maybe i was a hamster in my past life.

🤠 I like writing and drinking tea it make me feel big happi.

im small and gay

Imagine sitting on top of your hypermobile feet the entire day in front of your computer and then being in insane pain when you are going to bed. That would be so dumb. Who would do that.

ive literally seen that homestuck illustration before this is crazy

This video ive been working on is a passion project of mine and together with friends help i really want it to be something special and polished.

Trying out a new work schedule in december and i feel nervous. But im excited that ill get to spend more time on writing. Not that im particularly good at it. But i wont improve if i dont try.

Navigating autistic burnout while being a streamer is very complex and i wish taking time off made it go away but its instead a slow drag of building routines to make myself feel better again. It is frustrating sometimes.

Sometimes when i stream i get so overstimulated and tired its like thinking through mud. Im still not sure what to do when i feel like this, end stream? Keep on going? Play something simple? I wish i had an easy answer.

THE NEW MODEL IS SO YOU??? THIS IS INSANE??

🤠

I think its for comfort. Thinking about what could have been. And a sort of grief. Being a child and teenager with autism is a soul crushing experience. And its comforting to imagine that if you had help, it would have been easier. Sadly having a diagnosis does not automatically mean you get help.

That said as someone who was diagnosed early. Getting help early is crucial to prevent burnout, depression and anexity. But i wish people would stop thinking that being diagnosed early removes these things. It does not. Its part of your disability. I also experienced those things.