@itsjustjenn.bsky.social
48 year old trans woman and Riot Grrrl in training. Parent, wife, traveler. The Mistress of IO. May only be a figment of your imagination. 🏳️⚧️ Join my discord for trans folks and our allies discord.gg/XwTVrhUADT
I’ve always known, but when I was 20 in 1998, I went to a nearby city for some parties on Halloween. My costume? The beautiful sad girl Robert Smith was always singing about 🖤 I was serious about my dress, makeup, and hair, and I completely passed. It was that moment I knew I wanted to transition. 🏳️⚧️
i shared my OCs which were like 95% women (and a token femboy) to a transfem friend and she grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me like a can of soda
Yesssssssss 😭🩷
In a better timeline, it'd be common knowledge from the youngest of ages that sex (body one requires to be existentially okay and instinctively recognizes) is as innately hardwired as sexuality, and that 1% of the population isn't born with the f, m, or nb that matches their respective sex.
I was casually browsing reddit and there was a post about trans people. At the time I didn't know why someone would actively try to be the other gender as I assumed it just wasn't really possible. I read the post, and realized, oh shit, this describes me well
I’m not comfortable sharing all the details on here but meticulously inching through all 4 Matrix movies with this book was *instrumental*, it clarified why those movies were embedded in my soul, I’d watch them all at least once a year, a tradition I intend to continue.
bsky.app/profile/till...
The first time? The Null Hypothecis article by @nataliereed84.bsky.social. Unfortunately the realisation didn’t stick, and I went into denial six months later.
The one that managed to trigger my transition for real? @theabigailthorn.bsky.social coming out on my birthday 5 years ago
I was talking to a lesbian friend of mine about how girls got all the best clothes, looked better, lived longer, and finished it off with "man I wish I could just try it"
She suggested I might be trans
I had to ask her what that was
I watched Abigail's video right after my egg cracked, and she said everything I had been thinking about and re-enforced all of it
In 2012 (age 17) I found out online for the first time that transitioning was a thing people could do. It was a classic transition timeline post. It took a while but in 2017 I was able to start. Those 5 years were incredibly painful and I wish I could get them back, but it is what it is
What's that they say? If at least 2 members of your party aren't working through some gender stuff you're not doing it right?
My thoughts definitely kicked into a higher gear after I learned a kid who used to be in my D&D group and left for college not long before COVID was back in town and interested in rejoining, and was now an awesome beautiful woman. I started thinking "ugh, why don't I get to do that 😭"
I went to a summer church camp and felt viscerally uncomfortable every time they would split us off by gender and felt really weird joining the boys casually for hanging out
It was Easter (lol) and i went on a hike with my ex-partner, who is NB. On the drive there I told them I’d been having some gender feelings I wanted to talk about and questions to ask
We hiked around a lake and talked a lot and by the time we got back to the car I was nearly certain I was trans
Two gorgeous trans women out, proud af, in rurual upstate new york—deep red trump country usa.
They walked into a pizza place I was waiting at and ordered a pizza while I stared at them in expectant horror. They were fine. I realized I would be, too.
I was out to myself two days later.
I don't remember any specific feeling of wanting to be a girl. Sure there are the signs that are obvious in hindsight, but no actual feeling behind any idea of being a girl.
Less than 2 weeks after my 34th birthday, I had a Dream that I don't remember beyond something something trans and/or girl.
Mind altering substances we're definitely part of my journey along the way. Suddenly the girl would emerge. You think that would do it but I'm stubborn.
Also hai!! 💗
A friend just asked me the right question. I was telling her about how glad I was to learn my mom had a close friend who came out to her and maybe this would make sure she didn't have a bad opinion of trans people and my friend just was "uh. Why do you care? Are you sure you're not trans?"
being nonbinary counts right
i learned i was by being surrounded by my trans friends online especially trans women and being helped going through complicated feelings about my gender
Mine was watching trans camgirls. That was what flipped the switch from "this is a thing that other people do" to "this is something I can (should) do." Sex work for the win once again.
A Private Dance for a Beautiful Girl.
My Mind Wandered and I Poured a lot of My Denial/Conflict into it. The Song was Magical Girls by GHOSTDATA.
When I was done I Told Her She was a "Such a Magical Girl".
She stared at Me and said, "You are too. You just need to find Your Transformation Sequence."
You never know what the final moment will be as this thread proves. You know theres a bonus panel to that where she does "trans girl magic" on the other girl, yah?
i don’t think I had a defined “final moment” but I usually cite having to dig out my old CD collection because Apple Music was missing rights for half of a soundtrack. I had more Indigo Girls albums than any other, followed by Chely Wright, Ani diFranco, and Tori Amos.
Had some thoughts to myself as
I was freshly divorced (again), alone, and depressed. My days consisted of waking up, feeding Mew, eating, playing Animal Crossing, and falling asleep. A few friends decided to fuck around with FaceApp for fun, so I joined in, and the rest is history.
My sister-from-another-mister, @aburrger.bsky.social, drew me as a woman. I'd already been pushing against the eggshell & I'd asked if she could sketch me as a woman.
When I saw it, everything just clicked. I remember crying, looking at it saying, "That's me... That's really me." 🥹💖🏳️⚧️
#TransJoy
When I was sixteen years old, I had asked myself. Genuinely; without any obfuscation.
"In forty years you will be an Old Man: Do you want that?"
I couldn't answer yes.
Many many feels and clues and wisps of dreams since I was ten, but the actual crack came after I survived the Cult Years. With the cult leader dead, I was finally free to truly think and feel for myself, and that led to a cascade of things.
=looks around=
It was watching L Word, during it's very first season. I finally understood something. Up to then sex and romance felt so confusing.
(Took me a long while after that, but that was the first big crack)
It was snapping on my mom for being disrespectful, I was like "These are my pronouns, this is my name, take a good look" and I kinda just said fuck it and told her I'm a woman because I thought she'd grasp that easier instead of nonbinary, but I realized I was just happier like that.
