Bella 🦇💗

hello internet diary
today i had a sushi and cried

i do NOT wanna be around rn

worst photo of me was taken today and made me feel like i look like i did when i weighed 360

HOW LONG DOES THIS LAST

zero sugar cool blue gatorade tastes like brunt blueberry mint vape and you cannot tell me otherwise

chicago highlights:
- me and my twin flame, opal from insect asylum
- my very handsome malewife
- most delicious marzipan latte from spoke and bird (i did get clocked…the barista said i gave barista vibes in our sweet interaction)
- our view from our room

why my bf randomly tell me he envisioned me in a wedding dress on his way home 😏😛🥹😭
so NONCHALANTLY TOO.

crazy that i have motivation now that i’ve been in therapy for a year rather than before when i was worked to death, never ate, and was going to the gym

also screaming to myself in the bsky void as documentation to myself hi friends

it’s over for these heaux once i am done w my week long work stretch and i go to the gym after work on tues i’m so excited

i forgot that eating in a calorie deficit is not fuckin’ hard and that i am still able to eat so many things i enjoy but i was just being over protective of jumpstarting my ED issues i laid to rest and needless to say but I am already down 4lbs in a week and a half RAAAAH

also i know we got bigger things going on in the world rn…but if tr*mp is allowed to act like a child, SO AM I.

my day was rough and so i was going to be nice to myself and get those dipping burritos from tbell AND THEYRE FUCKING GONE.

in my depressed girlie pop era me tinks (therapist cancelled and now i have to remember the real world)

should i just write “my shayla…MY SHALYA…”

guys my therapist made me write a letter to my child self and i wanna throw up

clair de lune is so beautiful and i don’t CARE that i learned about it from twilight

i also miss playing piano 😔

clocked me

everything happens so much

bro tamlin is a little peepee baby ass crybaby

they made this new jhin skin so horny and for what? (they made it for me i love him)

thought i was gunna use this as my public diary but remembered i go to therapy and have healed from trauma dumping on the TL but also like…could be fun

Day 141 of training myself to read QR codes with my eyes instead of my phone: Still no idea what any of these dots are

let’s kill the horse.