Irisia (Holly) 🌈🏳️‍⚧️

😭😭🩵🩷

I am so proud to be queer 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

guess who is silly enough to wear broken sunglasses 😜

finally feel pretty as I don't have to hide anymore 😌

no makeup btw

now I can finally have a rest 😌

it's been a few days since I arrived in Spain

I passed the interview for the asylum, I was allowed through the border, I applied for the return of my luggage and checked into the hotel for refugees :)

I HAD TO BE SILENT FOR 3 FUCKING WEEKS, IT WAS THE MOST STRESSFUL TIME IN MY LIFE

BUT I'M FINALLY DOING IT

ON THE SECOND ATTEMPT, I AM FINALLY HEADING TO SPAIN TO ASK FOR ASYLUM AS A RUSSIAN TRANS GIRL !!!!

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SUPPORT 🩵🩷🏳️‍⚧️

sorry for never remembering to post here :c

Donate to Jess and Eva's Path to New Beginnings, organized by Jessica Parker Hello, With the directions the state and society in general are going, an… Jessica Parker needs your support for Jess and Eva's Path to New Beginnings

We are going to try to make the move. Looking at Wa state and hoping sometime mid summer. Trying to get help with expenses and making a safe landing. Please only if you are able, take care of yourself first. Appreciate any help or shares though. Open to talk if anyone has other ways of helping too.

Hello Bluesky :3

hello

All the free time that I have (<10% every working day) I spend just to stay in mental balance by sleeping & watching the stuff that makes me nostalgic or actual about anything related to me and my life in near future

Not even self-learning, just trying to stay fine mentally

I just dream for the day when everything will change in a much better way for me (or may not change at all)

But for now, I just exist, finish my preparation stuff which will take time & see no point to be any happy

I know what I have to do and I do it, but it's boring and slow

I declare that everything that has happened in my life, including my closed nature, nervousness, desire to forget what happened in the past, changing myself beyond recognition are long-term consequences of school bullying from which I haven't recovered after almost 15 years 🤕

i think something that can be said about all people who transition - or come out of the closet at all - is they have answered life at least once with a resounding YES. this is more than most manage and those lacking virtue always resent those who display it.

I thank everyone for the support ! 🩷🩵

I didn't expect much from this round, and I did my best to boost my fundraising, but at least when I finish all my preparings in several months, the rest of the goal will be successfully covered from my own money :)

sleep well Jon !

and happy birthday ! 🥳

Love you all, your Holly (a.k.a. Irisia) !! 🩷🩵

(20)

I am fully committed to moving to a safer country with the money you donated to me.

I ask you for help one more time: please, share my fundraising and my story.

I really want to make it happen in real life, so I will be touched by any further support.

(19/

I feel like I have returned to 2022, when I just left. Then I forbade myself any pleasures, because I could not afford them financially after leaving Russia. And now I have voluntarily given up almost everything that makes me happy just for a moment. (18/

As you have noticed from my story, I am doing everything in my power to bring my dream of living as a trans girl closer, who inspires me every day. But all these efforts break me mentally, even the fact that I essentially forbade myself to live a life of pleasure. (17/

For the first time in a while, I started to fear for my life and my future. Uncertainty for my future, stress from forced emigration, being always nervous, gender dysphoria — all this stuff is putting ever more psychological pressure on me than before. (16/

When I realized that I am a trans girl, gender dysphoria had less impact on my life than now, 5 years later, when I moved to a safer country than Russia (I thought atm) and lived the life of a trans girl with average level of transphobia (15/

...while other trans people in the world are able to start it within several weeks as they realize that this is what they need to make gender dysphoria less painful? Why must I suffer from it? (14/

I ask myself every time when I have depression: why is it that hard for me? Why must I wait for 6 years (I realized myself as a trans girl in 2020 in Russia and I expect to start HRT when I move to a safe country in 2026) to start living happily as a trans girl,... (13/

Usually I cry when I have a mental attack about all the serious mistakes that I have made recently in my life. But now I cry every 2-3 weeks bc of understanding that I am not progressing on my gender transition and I am not worthy to be a real member of the trans community. (12/

...and whose selfies I see in my Twitter feed everyday (I repost them almost daily as it makes me keep believing that everything I do now is the right thing), I cannot make it right now and I don't deserve to be noticed. I started crying more often than before. (11/

Though I do as much as I can to make my dream about moving to a safe country where I will be able to safely transition real, I feel embarrassed to start posting again and make selfies daily without thinking that, unlike people who have succeeded on their way... (10/

I am just being silent online as I am upset to show that I don't have any real progress on my transition (bc like I said earlier, I feel like I am regressing unwillingly). (9/