Averi 🐍

Technically it’s “venomous yuri”

He’s not really that monstrous. It’s not nice. Gonna just call him frankenstein’s guy.

SHOULD THE U.S BLOT OUT THE SUN AND USHER IN AN AGE OF ETERNAL DARKNESS? - Gallup 2/20/26-3/5/26

NO - 41%
YES - 38%
UNSURE - 21%

Stock is just bone tea

Honestly imagine the obituary if I literally did die of an asthma attack while getting absolutely wrecked by wifey

*sex with the wife*

Me, gesturing desperately: where’s my inhaler?

Me here taking a bite out of my grape

Computer pretend you’re on Star Trek NOT paranoia

What’s wrong babe you haven’t even touched your unreasonably large sliced grapes

Apologies for being late, I don’t like it here.

a cartoon dog is sitting at a table with a cup of coffee in front of a fire with the words this is fine . ALT: a cartoon dog is sitting at a table with a cup of coffee in front of a fire with the words this is fine .

maslows hierarchy of this is fine actually I didn’t need this

Hahahah I want to die ahahahah so funni

Not u

Rfkjr: who are you and what are you doing in my house

Also you’re hired

Me: chocolate mousse was chosen due to its easy consistency. The anus chosen as a delivery method to maximize the delivery volume. Of course you need to induce clenching somehow, to prevent losses when the snake ingests the rodent, which will depend entirely if the animal takes live prey-

Need to learn the lost art of jestermaxxing

I shall not crash out
Crashing out is the shook maker
It is the cooked path that leads to to big yikes

All my friends are COWARDS and not posting publically about how they want to touch booba but, and let me emphasize this,
*women*

Sea raptor and other superb owls

Lumberjack is just old timey words for wood guy

“If I died would anyone miss m-“

I am no longer bringing this energy into 2026.

if I died would anyone I hate feel like shit - is my new depression mantra

Oh no! 😬 You have acquired the **Divine Spark of Creation** 🔥

What will you do with your newfound sapience?
❌ OPEN YOUR WILL to the enlightenment of the divine flame
❌EXTEND YOUR HAND to the virtues of Joy and Peace
✅SUPPRESS YOUR SPARK working mindless 40hr week in drudgery

Leg day was a mistake

I think this is the one
The perfect storm of conditions, hungry and tired and overworked and stressed.
With the right inciting trigger I could have a truly beautiful and cleansing crash out.

You ever type something out at 1-3am ish and just read it over and hit delete post?

SO to that time the lady taking blood from my body started trying to explain to me that raid shadow legends is a feminist game

This is not enriching