Emily Williams

Came over here to see if anyone was acting normal. You’re not.

I made boys really mad over on the bird app

My fav thing we have done as a society is project cocaine terminology onto caviar.

Good reminder to myself to always stay a little dumb in order to, as they say, “never stop learning”

It was good

Jail

Today year’s old when I learned this was a real bird and not some weird name for a wine franchise

Not to be dramatic but if I don’t drink wine with a little snack to kick off the weekend I’m gonna die

Right? I’ve been robbed

Crazy to live in the same place my whole life and just now learn we have a county fair

Welp

Gm I dreamt there was war and that I was shooting fighter jets down from my parents house. Can someone please get me a new brain.

I have experienced every emotion today. Don’t text.

Men will call each other a bitch on video game then giggle together 1.2 seconds later

Some Wednesdays call for the holy trinity: 🏋🏻‍♀️, 🍬, 🍣

No I loooove getting in trouble for having facial expressions. That’s such a fun thing for me.

Ignoring someone’s wins in a group setting only to come to them 1:1 and shit on them about something else is disgusting behavior.

Men will be like “I’m running late” then shower for 20 minutes

Was about to ask what the feeling is called on a perfect sunshiney evening when you ate good food, had good wine and the music is hitting just right and realized that’s just “happy”

Chase bank is elite in the steps they take to protect people in the moment and proactively.

Unfortunately having a Kylie Jenner year of realizing things

Genuinely so embarrassed by the church I used to attend.

Adulthood is pre-ordering a cookbook

One thing I love about myself is that I do not have fomo. Not for events not for tv shows or movies or anything. If I’m not involved it just is what it is.

Life is worth living (my favorite baseball team looks great today)

Every day is a new circle of hell (my favorite baseball team looks terrible today)

Two years ago I made a resolution to stop holding my tears in so much (bc I kept breaking blood vessels in my face). I fear I girlbossed too close to the sun tho bc now I be crying at everything

That keeps happening with a weekly meeting that myself and like 50 other people are part of and we’re all like maybe just cancel it for real sometimes??

Telling people “I’ll find time for us” for a meeting and then making the meeting at 4pm should be illegal.

Spent an afternoon at the theater and received a quantity of compliments on my outfit that I did not deserve.

Never kys.