Florida Man

. @jd-vance-1.bsky.social

🤘

Watching the 2022 Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

The victims are all influencers (I'm not kidding).

It has a 31% on Rotten Tomatoes.

I think it's the feel-good movie of the holiday season.

No, seriously. This movie rips.

Leatherface just chainsawed his way through a busload of influencers. 👍👍 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Because he's Weird Al. If he's gonna do a commercial, it should be for accordion shutters.

a scary clown with a surprised look on his face is wearing a regal shirt . ALT: a scary clown with a surprised look on his face is wearing a regal shirt .

Gonna get baked af, eat Chinese takeout, give out candy, and finally watch as much of the Terrifier trilogy as I can tonight.

The teen years of parenthood suck, but not tonight, baby.

He probably bought the couch from Coming to America because it comes pre-lubed.

Venn diagram of those opposed to funding SNAP and those who don't give out candy to teenagers or kids without costumes.

Tonight I'm going to put on a suit and dark eyeliner when I give out candy, and then ask every trick-or-treater if they're gonna say "thank you".

You just know there's some obnoxious fuck in Wisconsin promoting a Muenster Mash today.

I spent 15 years in Corporate America and I can absolutely guarantee this is actually happening today.

Like we always do about this time.

Thriller is not a good song.

Anti-QTip sentiment is nothing more than propaganda from Big Earwax.

Publix now automatically emails your receipt in case you already forgot how much you just got fucked.

There's a guy who always sits outside my Publix wearing a Trump 2028 hat and I'm preemptively accepting donations toward my legal defense.

Jennifer Welch might be my biggest crush these days.

While SNAP cuts loom, these local restaurants offer free food for kids - Texas News Beep Several local restaurants are offering free food for kids as federal food assistance is set to expire.

While SNAP cuts loom, these local restaurants offer free food for kids

https://www.newsbeep.com/us-tx/28078/

Several local restaurants are offering free food for kids as federal food assistance is set to expire. DALLAS…

Local hotel offering free breakfast to public in wake of looming SNAP pause The Residence Inn by Marriott in Niles is providing a free community breakfast and partnering with Logan’s Landing Project for a sensory-friendly food drive to help those affected by the fede…

Local hotel offering free breakfast to public in wake of looming SNAP pause

SNAP Breakfast Donation - Heretic Coffee Co. For covering breakfast cost for those losing SNAP benefits.

Really inspired by Heretic Coffee in PDX and the $280k+ they've raised to feed free breakfast every day to anyone who's losing their SNAP benefits. Hunger in fat America pisses me the fuck off so much.

Hunger = desperation = crime, and this fascist admin is just waiting to crack skulls.

@safety.bsky.app is losing control. Wondering if all the bot activity is coming from 🧊's new ramped up internet surveillance.

It’s vital, every so often, to become suddenly awake and walk barefoot from our warm homes and stand in the cold rain just to remind ourselves that many of the established borders of our lives are not made of iron bars, they are made of choices.

This is going to be my whole fucking day, isn't it?

And I still maintain that "Vecna" is the dumbest name for a villain.

Catch the new Stranger Things trailer? Those kids are so old now I thought I was watching a Halloween-themed ad for Nugenix.

Love Tesla and Skid Row.

Because I'm someone who's always hypervigilant and in survival mode, my bullshit detector never stops ringing. Every day I'm increasingly skeptical of what shows up in my apps and why. Every day it gets harder and harder to not believe in the Dead Internet Theory. I hate the future.

In the process of blocking and reporting dozens of "followers" who also follow tens of thousands of other people (even hundreds of thousands in some cases). That's just physically impossible without some sort of shady automation.

Starting to think @bsky.app has lost its grip on security here.

. @safety.bsky.app @moderation.bsky.app @bsky.app These 3 users follow a combined 124,000 others. Why is this even allowed? There's simply no way of digesting that much content or interacting with that many people unless they're a bot/AI. This is how Twitter went to shit. Fix it.

. @jcobb.pholus.co You're either a bot or some kind of engagement farmer. Following 56,000 people and no interactions? Take your LinkedIn looking profile and get fucked, you pasty freak.