ace of hearts 💟

plot points from Animorphs? in Markiplier's Iron Lung? it's more likely than you think

just started my period, happy iron lung weekend I guess

they should invent a lemon bar or a key lime pie that materializes when you want them

My only trigun stargaze review: milly should be bigger

my husband, to the tune of In the End by Linkin Park: 🎶I cum so hard and jizz so fast, and in the end, my partner didn't climax🎶

everyone who complains about they/them pronouns not making sense should be forced to play Danganronpa

there needs to be a sex offender registry but for ice guys. you should have to go door to door when you move to a new area and inform your neighbors that you used to be an ice guy. they shouldn't be allowed with 500 feet of a school

What if none of these things is a distraction from the other things and instead they're all just horrible things

I like libraries

transgender for everyone this new year

she hum on my bug til I scrooge

Poseidon's Kiss: America's Bidet

I don’t mean to sound extreme, but I don’t think we should have torture camps for people with criminal records either.

Erika Kirk has Kenneth Copeland vibes. That intense, unblinking blue-eyed stare. A smile that never quite reaches their eyes. A voice like an evangelical parent who's about to "discipline" their kid.

solidarity with trans people and death to fascism

do you think ilkka villi knows about the zootopia abortion comic

you can be the most reasonable, intelligent, measured person on the planet and 3 minutes of a migraine will have you looking longingly at a drill and considering whether trepanning was honestly that bad of an idea

i have one of the insufferable illnesses known to man and its "when i see or hear a phrase that mildly references something im interested in i shout the name of that thing out like it's the last piece of sanity im clinging to"

fuck Francine Rivers

You never want to hit someone with the nuclear "As stated previously" in an email but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do

bye bye piece of Chex mix that fell in the couch you live there now foreva

one of the coolest things about ChatGPT is how you can actually just never use it. you can fill your whole entire life with simply not once using it. it's incredible.

the outer worlds games truly understand what I want in a game: stealing anything I can get my filthy little hands on whether I need it or not, and making friends and forcing them to all live in a big house with me :)

who up installing their orbs

IT guy: is your computer always this slow?

me: yeah that's normal

IT guy: *quietly* no it's not

i think if you want to have those disgusting LED headlights on your car, you should have to do a test where they blast you point blank with your own headlights and then you have 15 seconds to successfully complete some sort of vision-based task, and if you can't do it they push your car off a cliff

who up tresing their leche

shoutout to exhausted and disheveled women. i love you exhausted and disheveled women

me: I miss you

my friend of ten years: I miss you too!

me: omg he misses me too??? 🥹

she honk on my shoo until i mimimi