Thismachinekillsfascists

Bob Onder is Missouri-ing so hard right now. Transgenders and antifa are lurking in the forums and 🔫🔫 up the abortion clinics. Oh nooooo!!

How embarrassing for this chud.

Congressperson Nehl of Texas just said that Charlie Kirk would have been Jesus's 13 disciple if he were alive then.

You can't make this up.

Senator Marshall (GOP, Kansas) just said that every American has had COVID "a dozen times" which has "built up their immunity" to COVID.

Can you hear yourself?
If they've built up immunity, HOW have they had COVID every few months for years now?? And why don't you think that's... terrible?

Mifepristone is safe. It shouldn't be surprising that there are "adverse events within 45 days" of taking it... because all the people taking it were/are pregnant and pregnancy is THE most dangerous time in our lives...especially if you're an American.

Not Low Plane?!?!

My entire life is a lie.

I kinda want to go back to sleep.
🫠

If you're in the National Guard, how do you justify deploying to DC, NYC, Denver, Portland... whatever is coming next? How do you, average Joe or Sally Smith, from Louisiana/Missouri/Florida pack up a bag and tell your mom and your kids you've got to deploy... to CHICAGO? Wtf are you doing?
Why?

Omg that's a travesty.

PUN INTENDED AND NOW I'M MAD

Yeah that or a merch drop, which would be worse?

I need a gaylor live somewhere please invite me. The time has come for us to gather.

There's a 🌈lor on the Onion staff 🤣🤣🤣

One thing I believe is that it’s a super good look for a TV network to cancel a show in a what seems like an effort to get in the good graces of a guy who that very day was revealed to have signed a birthday card to a famous sex criminal: “Shhh I’ll never tell xoxo gossip pedophile.”

Hey I'm in the 17th!!
Let's goooo!

@arimelber.bsky.social listening to you and N.O.R.E while hiking (on tunein) and almost falling off the trail at how 😶‍🌫️ he is 🚬🤣
HOW did you hold that together??

i'm calling it, today is officially funnier than when Trump got COVID

Today's bingo card

For real. I was a baby way back then!
(I'm also going to erase the protests I was taken to as a child that involved abortion clinics. I hate that chapter. I became an Ab escort as an adult to make amends for those events in my childhood past.)

My first protest was against W bombing Iraq. Pretty much haven't stopped since then.

so the members of congress just stopped going to el salvador and not a single person who was illegally sent there has been returned and that’s just how it is now?

Tom Holland wars n95 masks in public spaces in the year 2025 and that keeps him the hottest man in Hollywood.
🔥

3/26/25 – #NoNYMaskBan Day of Action — Jews for Mask Rights Join us on March 26th to oppose anti-mask measures in New York state. Governor Hochul is trying to sneak a mask ban into the state budget, which must be approved by the end of March 31st. Call now and...

Gov Hochul is trying to sneak a mask ban in the New York budget! We say #NoNYMaskBan! Join @nyclu.org phone bank 1:30 to prep to call your State Assembly member and State Senator. We had a packed house this morning but need you to 📞

They can't get more specific than "Montana", too? 🤣 Montana is a massive, enormous state. They were spotted in it, though.
Lolz

Unanimous Peoria City Council vote to allocate $204K left of a state grant, to reimburse LULA NFP. LULA is safely housing 60 Peorians in a hotel through June 30, 2025.
People are stable and healthy because of LULA volunteers and the city council and mayor who LISTENED and acted. Next goal TBA.

In Peoria, Illinois, Community Members Want Prosecutors to Solve More Gun Homicides Mothers never expect to bury their children. Rachael Parker, a steadfast public servant in Peoria, Illinois, found that the 2020 shooting death of her son, Ryan, made her feel helpless. Just one year…

In Peoria, the vast majority of shooting victims are Black. Many homicide cases remain unsolved, sowing distrust between locals and the law enforcement officers meant to protect and serve them. Surviving families and local activists say the State’s Attorney’s Office isn't taking enough cases.

We have an state sanctioned execution via firing squad happening today. Tell us more about how this country is a "developed nation" or "civilized" on any level? The wives and kids of 3 people who volunteered to shoot need to be evacuated because this is NOT a safe person to have in your home.

No but I'm sure someone will break that audio out soon.

It should be more than one!!!

Hero.

Does the DNC know we hate them now too?? Do they know we think they are feckless and useless and we are not going to give them our money? ALL I GET ARE FUNDRAISING TEXTS. Go jump off a cliff. DO SOMETHING.