RAEETheProtogen

The Rock if he was a furry be like: ōwó

A broken clock is correct twice a day

A clock that's 1 second behind is correct once every 43200 years

It's better to quit than to not be the best

What if Papers Please was called Praises Please and instead of Dari Ludum giving you good girl he called you a good girl

Hand Inc. is a company managed by Hand Holding LLC

Legalizing weed will cause the average rate of dilly dallying to skyrocket and the rate of locking the fuck in to plummet, we cannot let this happen

Horror challenge: Drink coffee before going to sleep and turn off your phone and be left with your thoughts and no way of losing them by falling asleep

You're not "stinky" or "gross" for not showering, you're simply a cast iron pan and you'd wash away all the seasoning

If the Gingerbread Man was American his house would've been made out of nougat as drywall

Making pushed pork by putting steaks under the hydraulic press

The GL in OpenGL stands for Girl Love

Treadmills scratch the innate urge to be Sisyphus

Multiple-choice questions in tests are how schools teach children the thrill of gambling at an early age

Hair oils are full of bad thoughts and auras that seep into your brain which is why you always feel much better after washing your hair

Beekeeping as a concept is wild, imagine if we had a fourth dimensional elder god who could swipe us out of existence with magic smoke but instead chose to build us a planet with free housing and protection from other eldritch beings just because they like french fries

Musicians will be like "I just released a 3-hour ambient album" as if my dishwasher didn't also do that

Enough about thin mints, where do I get thicc mints

Yeah I'm into BDSM

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Saw executioners when the victim doesn't actually start thriving again and just kills themselves after the trial is over due to the trauma they endured (masterful planning)