Formidable Poe

I look like a goddamn poodle. Idk how long wolf cut turned into this terrible 80s perm shit, with no defined layers other than "Short". Its devastating. Im doing my best to try and fix it, but Im very unhappy.

My hair was to my lower back. Went to get a haircut, specifically a long wolf cut. I explained my hair is very curly but shrinks when cut, and to leave the length. The stylist said it would be a bit below my shoulders, and any longer wouldn't be the same cut.

Its awful now. Above my shoulders.

Today's mood: Even In Arcadia, on a loop.

Sherwood was a fantastic season. I definitely feel a sense of loss without it. Otherwise, Im just barely floating through, mentally and emotionally. Im fighting the urge to disappear.

I'm starting to feel like there is no place for me.

I'm doing my best to stay... but somedays are harder than others. Today is hard.

I wish I had someone I could really talk to about all this stuff going on in my head and my life.

Me: Oh yeah, Im definitely asexual. Hate the idea. Ew. Just ew, people.

Then: .... Why is everyone so gorgeous?! I want to know them all.

When I talked to my wife about stepping back from being masc presenting, (I can get into the what's and why's later) her first question wasn't why, but, "Is there another name you want to go by?"

I don't know yet. I am, as always, evolving. But I appreciate how supportive she is every moment ♡

Gasoline Lollipops- "Freedom Don't Come Easy" is the song of the year.

The thing about transitioning is that it's left me with more questions than answers. I still have so much inward hate. And I still feel lost.

I'm exhausted.

1 (frozen) Irish coffee, 1 po boy, 2 tiki drinks, 1 frozen rum punch, 6 chargrilled oysters, and a haunted hotel in New Orleaaaaans...

Another Friday. I struggle between allowing myself to relax, and wanting to be productive.

I'm sad I finished my Veilguard game. I may go back and load an earlier save just for more Banter and puzzles.

I would love another few dozen hours of Veilguard gameplay, with more Necropolis time.

Guess the aphasia is back! It's typically stress-induced for me, ever since my brain issue 12-ish years ago, where I lost the ability to speak for a week. Sometimes, I just lose words.

I need to work on my garb for the upcoming Sherwood season, but damn finding motivation. Come on, Whump, show yourself. I need you to be ready.

I have an unhealthy habit of literally putting everyone's well-being ahead of my own so as not to be a problem. Apparently, this also includes video game situations.

Spending $700 on one car and $600 on the other to get them both running isn't what I meant by "sense of normalcy" but here we are.

[DA: Veilguard] I really hate going to the maze that is Dock Town...

Well, I started my novel early last month with the intention of writing daily this month, but the world being what it is severely crippled my motivation and sense of security. Maybe soon I'll get it back (the motivation part)

Same here. We just got a cold front so we are finally under 70 degrees.

At least the Emmrich story with DA: Veilguard is helping me process thoughts of death and mortality. If the scariest things are somehow easier to digest, maybe I can make it through. If not, maybe there will at least be acceptance.

Well, I guess we're here now