Kieran Gale

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I have yet to see the new Superman, but hearing people talk about it has helped me finally understand Lex Luthor for the first time in my life.

If obsession can inspire an assassination attempt on Reagan just to get Jodie Foster’s attention, it can explain all the bullshit that Lex gets up to.

Earlier this week at work, I was struggling to get a door to stay held open by the magnetic latch on the wall. One of my coworkers came over and said “Here’s the trick to getting it to stay.”

Without thinking, I responded “You have to be pure of heart, and I’m not.” 🫠

A fuzzy bumblebee gathers pollen from a yellow wildflower in my front yard.

When people ask me how I feel about our home, I often respond by enthusiastically telling them that there are at least five different types of bees in our yard.

It only recently occurred to me that the average person might not view this as a good thing.

In a groundbreaking new study, three out of three cats want to smell my dusty feet.

(I went to Greek Fest & accidentally stepped in a puddle while wearing sandals before walking around on gravel & dirt so my feet are coated in a layer of dust that the cats apparently find worthy of investigation.)

Pen and colored pencil illustration of an intense owl with gold and red eyes. The owl is perched on a branch and surrounded by an eldritch green light.

Owl Familiar for the #hauntedgardenartchallenge

A brown tabby cat sleeps in a round, grey Papasan chair in a colorful room.

I thrifted a big papasan chair yesterday and now I’m going to have to fight a poopy little gremlin every time I want to sit in it.

A little guy from the video game Katamari Damacy rolls around a ball made up of items he’s collected from around the room.

Life hack: no one can stop you from listening to the Katamari Damacy theme in your head while imagining how a tiny little guy would roll up all the items in the room up into an ever growing ball.

After a weekend of gardening, it really makes me appreciate just how nice it is to shake off my seasonal depression so I only have my regular depression to deal with.

A medieval painting of the side wound of Christ, which looks similar to the eye of Sauron, many Georgia O’Keefe paintings, and vulvas.

I scraped my pinky finger on one of its knuckle joints, causing it to heal weirdly. And unfortunately it’s now at the stage of the healing process where it looks like the side wound of Christ, which is to say that it also looks like a Georgia O’Keefe painting.

Being able to buy ready-to-eat Red Hot Chicago hot dogs from Home Depot feels like a fair trade to make in exchange for not having a Waffle House within 4 hours of where I live.

That and the whole actually having civil rights thing makes the Chicagoland area a nice upgrade from Oklahoma.

A hand drawn sharpie doodle of myself holding a plant and a garden trowel while singing “all my bitches love it, all my, all my bitches love it”. The garden trowel kind of looks like a butt plug.

Half assed artistic rendering of me working on the flower bed this afternoon while Teach Me How to Dougie played in my head on loop for 2 hours straight. Yes, I know the garden trowel looks questionable. I drew this in like 69 seconds, give me a break.

I think that anyone who picks hold music that has a looped melody shorter than 30 seconds should experience negative consequences for that choice. Because why would you do that?

A fat pikachu plush sits at a computer desk with headphones on. The pikachu is playing Minecraft.

Real gamer hours are upon us.

Is this possibly a form of dissociation? Don’t worry about it! Just vibe to the opening guitar riff.

Life hack- no one can stop you from listening to the opening guitar riff of This Must be the Place by the Talking Heads inside your own mind. You can play it on loop endlessly and no one can stop you.

I’m not actually a person, but rather 3-5 mental illnesses stacked in a trench coat.

Hear me out: fantasy football league but for the papal conclave.

Oil pastel of thistle plant with a bee. Available

colorbysusan.etsy.com/listing/1620...

A picture of a baby possum standing in a big green leaf with an expression that makes the possum look exhausted and fed up with existence.

I really thought the penguin island tariffs were satire.

But sadly I live in the stupidest country on earth, so of course the penguin island tariffs are real.

I have questions for the Culver’s located near my workplace, all of them being some variation of “Why do you exclusively play Kidz Bop music at all hours of the day?”

The guards watch me do it. I don’t sneak. I just walk in and grab every piece of cheese in the building. And they’re like “ah yes, the Thane is here for their monthly cheese raid.”

Skyrim logic is wild. I kill one group of bandits for a jarl and do a few errands in town and then everyone’s just cool with me coming into the Jarl’s place and taking all the cheese wheels. Every last one of them. An entire castle’s worth of cheese. No one bats an eye.

It’s just me and my Skyrim horse against the laws of physics. I don’t have time to figure out how the developers actually wanted me to get up here, I’m climbing the goddamned mountain.

I woke up sad today and now I have Creed stuck in my head. I have yet to decide if this is making my day better or worse.

#green is today's prompt for #januarty Here you'll find a variety of greens in this insect display. Do you have a favorite? #procreateillustration #procreateart #insects #butterfly #bug #lunamoth #januarty25 #moths

A panel from the web comic Pon & Zi but someone has photoshopped a brown M&M mascot into the panel. It reads “I made you a cookie but I freaked it”

I feel compelled to share this with you.

If you see this, post a pic from your device with no explanation

The siren’s call of a shaggy mullet is very affirming for my queerness though. I will not be elaborating on this thought.