Fart Vision

(Wacko Burger HQ)
Wacko Burger Exec: "Everyone knows that when you're scary high, you grubhub wacko burger. We've relentlessly pounded that home and the numbers reflect that. But its not enough..."
(cut to ad on tv) "Scary high? You're stuck like this FOREVER unless you grubhub wacko burger NOW"

Frame #6695 from 50s E43 in a fix

meeting someone in a professional context and as you take your hand out of your pocket to shake you purposefully pull out and dump the open bag of skittles in there all over the floor and shriek

america deserves a president who barfs on camera regularly

(beginning of movie, students shuffling into lecture hall and professor starts speaking) "So, *smirking* you've been accepted into the famous Poop Studies program at Shit university. Congratulations! *slamming textbook shut* That's the easy part. The pass rate of my class is less than half.

i love saying that someone "has more money than god" and do it all the time, in part because i think its funny to imply that god has a lot of money

if you're not expected to share .docx and .pptx files, latex with overleaf is actually quite easy to use and produces great looking documents, and you can do pretty much everything with a free account.

in mid/late 2023 i told someone that i'm not as invested in accounting of energy usage for training models because tech companies will employ accounting bullshit to obscure their energy and resource usage; that we should focus on the nearby communities that can't access water/energy reliably anymore

all else aside I do have to hand it to five guys for the free peanut thing. it was cool that in high school when everybody went there and you had no money you could still eat like 800 lbs of peanuts

i thought they stopped doing the free peanut thing too but today was the first time in a long time i saw some. perhaps because 99% of the time ive been to a five guys in the last decade its been in an airport

maybe they've decided its part of the 'millenial nostalgiaburger' aspect

are they worried that if they took them all down and went for clean red-and-white tile that they'd suffer from brand confusion with in n out or something

noticed in five guys today that they still have those food reviews on the wall about how the burger was so good in 2006 but they removed all the dates

*sigh* real nice... just craptastic

ships dr to captain: "Captain these little dried up raisin turds of your production... I'm sorry, but these are the poops of a dying man, captain. These are the poops of a a man swiftly fated to the tomb!!" *the captain shoots him dead without making eye contact*

dog priest solemnly approaching the pulpit and then barking at his congregation for the whole hour

responding to random normal things people say with "never thought I'd hear that coming from *you*..."

weird to contemplate why you'd want to do this. like trying to make a pizza that tastes like bagpipe music

mercifully no beyond the bad trailer

homestuck cartoon is achewood cartoon to me

going back in time to 2012 to open a ‘meadery’ that bankrupts me

(at store with kid) "no we're not getting it... you don't even like poop nuts cereal... no you just want it because it has crap tales characters on the box"

we deserve a president who's like "get on down to poop mart... mini crap cakes for just 5 bucks!!"

*reading beef jerky bag in checkout* I need gumption... that would fix everything...

do you think bellbottoms exist as a perennial "new moon" in fashion as the pendulum swings from baggy jeans to skinny jeans

PANEL 1: A mom, dad, and daughter are driving in a car. MOM: "Rita says the school is closed indefinitely and another chunk of the moon just wiped out the Dakotas... Thousands more will start hitting us soon, like Space Hail." PANEL 2: DAUGHTER: "Since the world's ending anyway--maybe I could watch an R-rated movie tonight?" PANEL 3: DAD: "Nice try, but we need you to die with 'chaste eyes and imaginings." PANEL 4: MOM (to daughter): "He just wants to make sure you'll go to Heaven to establish a beachhead for our family--we'll need you to petition God for our release from Hell." PANEL 5: DAD: "Kiddo, your mother and I have soiled minds that have conjured all manner of erotic fantasias. We are bound only for the pit."

talking to your children about sex

www.noncanon.com/comics/2025-...

civilization vi leader two turns before you destroy his lone attacking trebuchet unit with a missile cruiser

basically instead of a guy with a low-90s fastball and the best changeup in the world he looks like a guy with a low-90s fastball and a bad changeup

no clue, last thing i read said he wasn't losing any velocity and it might be pitch tipping, which people you've worked with for a long time might be good at seeing? otoh the yankees have had an alarmingly good track record of developing relievers even though it hasn't really worked this season

if it's cisco with a c, infocom for thee
but sysco with an s brings wholesale chicken breast