sam

MENSWEAR GUY: Furthermore, you’ve neglected to even cut the vents of the shockingly poor-fitting sport coat you’ve, for some reason, chosen to wear to breakfast

MAN WHO STILL WEARS A THREADLESS TEE FROM 2003 WITH TWO ANTHROPOMORPHIC HOUSES HUGGING UNDER THE TEXT “HOMIES”: haha get his ass derek

[doctor coming to brief my family in the waiting room]

He's awake and posting.

Wow… all this animosity towards CEOs in the healthcare industry. Almost like someone could run a political campaign against them and be extremely successful

Now that I'm down 40 lbs from summer I can say definitely that winter sucks a lot more now

Moooore

Needs more protein

everett byram @rad_milk marge simpson calls her husband "homie" because he is her friend

Who up cybering they monday

(pike held up to my neck) you will never exit the rental market. you will be forced out of your apartment every two years for the rest of your life. you will never know peace and security. you see, mommy blackrock and people with generational wealth need secure returns on investment

Tomorrow is not guaranteed, thug it out today

Smoking bar, Creed blaring, national treasure and 06 family guy on the tvs. I've never been so back

YOU DON’T NEED TO DEFROST THE TURKEY IF YOU’RE DEEP FRYING. JUST TOSS THAT FROZEN BAD BOI RIGHT INTO THE BUBBLING HOT OIL. PREFERABLY INDOORS.

Engagement farming? You mean senior year of college in the south

this gets to the point i keep making. to the media elites who are obsessed with anti-wokeness, something like mass deportation is a total abstraction whereas they are annoyed, on a daily basis, by their supposedly “woke” younger colleagues and social media antagonists

waterboarding my inner child

It’s so refreshing to spend time in a feed that’s isn’t being artificially pumped full of right wing propaganda all the time

He has a problem

i must be julian casablancas the way the strokes got her asking is this it

At least here I only have to mute the annoying bluemaga and not 100 christofascists a day

Unlike Trump I would have normal cabinet members like the davinki twins as my Communications director and the property brothers as head of HUD.

only consuming bad news online every day is probably good for your mental health overall

Looking for 1,000,000,000 of my closest friends

If you're new and your feed is empty, remember you can add more feeds

Jokes on you I never had a reply guy that I didn't hate