the bareback contessa (festive edition)'s Avatar

the bareback contessa (festive edition)

@capitaloftexas.bsky.social

austin. he/him. 30-something texan transplanted to minnesota. professional musician and even more professional faggot. 🏳️‍🌈 all other socials: carillonghorn (this account is very nsfw so you know me in real life… look away)

2,978 Followers  |  2,100 Following  |  4,344 Posts  |  Joined: 12.08.2023  |  2.655

Latest posts by capitaloftexas.bsky.social on Bluesky

AAHHHHHHHHH

04.12.2025 05:18 — 👍 19    🔁 1    💬 0    📌 0

I can’t take any more of America being America, I’m going to explode like a white guilt limpet mine

03.12.2025 08:08 — 👍 30    🔁 2    💬 3    📌 0
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i don’t know why it took me eight christmases at this job to decorate up in the bell tower

but i did and it’s so festive, mariah whomst?

03.12.2025 18:29 — 👍 23    🔁 0    💬 2    📌 0
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this hump day brought to you by my electric blanket that made it reeeeeeally hard to get out of bed this morning

03.12.2025 16:32 — 👍 48    🔁 0    💬 2    📌 0
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03.12.2025 16:10 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

i know 😤

03.12.2025 16:01 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

it’s just doing its best to oppress bottoms, just like god intended 😌

03.12.2025 15:59 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

god dammit it’s snowing again ugh

we got eight and a half inches (😏) this weekend; that’s enough please and thanks

03.12.2025 04:10 — 👍 18    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

are you looking in a mirror? because yes! 😌

02.12.2025 15:16 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0
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well i never

02.12.2025 02:51 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

“big butts and big nuts” would be a great band name tbh

02.12.2025 02:15 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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you’ve got me blushing on the bus, thanks 😳

01.12.2025 23:40 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0
Post image 01.12.2025 23:27 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

01.12.2025 23:26 — 👍 30    🔁 9    💬 0    📌 0

shut up there’s no way you’re older than 33 at most

01.12.2025 23:19 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

stawppp you’re just trynna flatter me 🫣

01.12.2025 23:17 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

(this got a chuckle out of me ngl)

well, i appreciate the compliment anyway 🙈

01.12.2025 22:53 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

y’all i have been working on a project all damn day and i’m not even halfway through 😩

01.12.2025 22:46 — 👍 11    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

psh nawww

(also, as much as i post my peepee you haven’t seen it before now?! 🤣😜)

01.12.2025 22:33 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

nahhh, don’t do that! 🙈

01.12.2025 22:17 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

let’s start an over 30 selfie thread ✨

32 👵🏻

01.12.2025 22:06 — 👍 78    🔁 1    💬 4    📌 0

post an old dick pic!

first one i ever took (i think) circa 2012

01.12.2025 21:52 — 👍 62    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0
A roadside sign on a building with a brick exterior and red awnings reads, “FOR ONCE I’D JUST LIKE TO SPIRAL INTO CONTROL.”

A roadside sign on a building with a brick exterior and red awnings reads, “FOR ONCE I’D JUST LIKE TO SPIRAL INTO CONTROL.”

mood

01.11.2024 03:48 — 👍 548    🔁 115    💬 12    📌 7
A picture of Jigglypuff with the text “Normalise Being A Lil Fruity”.

A picture of Jigglypuff with the text “Normalise Being A Lil Fruity”.

28.11.2025 00:13 — 👍 12    🔁 1    💬 0    📌 0

so i’m baked and just like… spent a good couple minutes looking at my foot that’s peeking out from under my blanket

i have ugly feet lmao

28.11.2025 00:14 — 👍 13    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

happy (american) thanksgiving, bloomfies!! thanks for putting up with my bitching and peepee pics, ily 🥰

27.11.2025 16:53 — 👍 19    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

what’s a movie you never tire of?

27.11.2025 14:54 — 👍 21    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 3

i have never seen that, believe it or not

27.11.2025 14:54 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

you know i love a herend moment

27.11.2025 02:49 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

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